Search This Blog

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Inspiration

Whenever Life gets tough

I seek solace in people of the past.

People who mark their lives

In pages of History.

With their blood, sweat and sacrifice.

I tell myself, "They had it worse,

You can survive this."

Lift myself up because who will,

If not me?

I treat life's obstacles,

As minor inconveniences,

Because they taught me

Life could be way worse.


I wait for things that never happen

Put my faith in fate's cruel play

I often wonder what life was like

For all those immortals

In the pages of novels.

They fought all odds,

Wins and Losses

And emerged from the battles of life

So why can't I?

I read their stories with hope and belief

That everything in the end seems fine.

~ Suranya



Friday, December 20, 2024

Count the Blessings

Some days you don't feel like getting out of bed, you want sickness to engulf you, finding comfort in the fact that it will help you rest, yet it doesn't. A sore throat makes you restless, and everything you planned goes haywire. You don't like the music you otherwise groove to, you can't write a sentence without hating yourself, you can't look at the mirror without self-criticism, watching anything feels irking, and you have no idea what will make you feel better. You try everything from self-pampering to pep-talk and often try to find some comfort in people who you think understand you. Yet, you oddly find them irking too. On these days, take a step back, stop being harsh on yourself and be grateful you got through yet another bad day, keeping your darkest thoughts at bay.

© Suranya



Thursday, December 19, 2024

Outcast Love

The crowd parted, and I saw you again. 

After how many years? I need not remember.

Your hair has a hint of grey, your smile

Now form lines under your eyes.

You spot me, and your smile fades.

What is it that I see in your eyes?

Regret? Pity? Perhaps admiration.

Someone introduces us again.

Your job title changed, 

As did my surname.

He jokes that I write about lost love 

Despite having everything I ever dreamt of.

You look at me with a weary smile. 

I pretend not to recognise you.

We greet each other in single syllables.

He leaves us alone in awkward silence 

Amidst a crowd chattering and mingling

We draw our eyes away, then stare back.

~ Suranya



Wednesday, December 11, 2024

Your Realms

I walk through the arches of the past 

Seeking You in the little traces that last 

Of Your existence beyond books.

Of stories of Bards, that history refuses to tell 

I look for You in mirrors and reflections 

Within my soul and contemplation 

And what troubles me is to know 

That You never knew me.

I look beyond Your bravery and might 

At everything the man dreamt of at that time 

And I ask the Dyers of Dreams 

To colour my life in Your name.

I am obsessed, possessed, beyond repair. 

Seeking answers in despair 

My soul refuses to stay put here 

In an era far beyond Yours.

~ Suranya



Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Heart's Desire

You walk towards me 

As light as a feather 

As radiant as the morning sun 

As promising as hope. 

You stop as if to admire 

A flower or a butterfly over it. 

I am mesmerized by your innocence 

Captivated by your smile 

And I often wonder, 

Is a soul as impure as mine, 

Bathed in blood of dozens 

Worthy of you, My Princess?


Your horse gallops through the fort 

People bow in respect 

You understand them 

Even when you watch from afar 

Like a God they worship 

Up in a pedestal above all. 

Stories of your valour 

Are retold to children 

As they idolise you. 

And I, secretly blush and beam 

In a pride only I know, 

For I know the prince they admire 

Is the man who chose me, 

Scars and flaws and all.

~Suranya



Wednesday, December 4, 2024

Karmic

What if I told you this is not the end?

You see, with some people. 

It's a loop, rather than a straight line.

You meet, you leave, but you can't escape. 

What if I told you, we haven't met here

But before we were, after we will be 

In some other name, at some other place?

What if you realise we are a boon 

And a curse, in a maze 

We keep running around.

What do I make of this longing 

The way I feel like lingering, 

In your presence 

And lamenting your absence.

The way our skins touch 

Sparks fly, it's not fireworks 

But a whole show of lights! 

What if I make you wonder, 

What are we? Why are we here?

Finding our way back to each other 

Every time we decide not to.

All I can say is, "I will be your first heartbreak 

Be my first love?"

~ Suranya



Thursday, November 28, 2024

Ranked

"I was never someone's first love. I never knew how it felt to be looked at with unadulterated eyes like you define a feeling for them." She eyed him with a faint smile, watching him frown.

She sounded upset.

"Why is it so important?" He enquired. "Isn't the goal to be someone's last?"

"Because I know what it feels like to be in love the first time." She stared at the horizon and back at him.

"You mean the silly mistakes and lessons?" He was amused.

"No, that's a crush you think you are in love with." She corrected. He still looked confused.

"I mean the one that defines your faith in love.

The one which remains beautiful even in ruins."

A sudden hollow feeling crept into her being, eating at her soul; she wanted to shrug off the heaviness in her heart. She inhaled as if to fill the hollow with air.

"The one whom you could never badmouth, even when your heart was shattered?" He was curious.

"Yeah, that one."

© Suranya



Monday, November 25, 2024

Absolute

A little boy on the street 

Working for the day's breadstick 

Being told by soldiers to bow 

As the general passes by 

On his high horse. 

"I bet he is freer 

Than I ever will be. 

The boy imagines a fate 

That one day he would be lord of the castle. 

A general leading an army to war 

People bowing and obeying his orders.


The general knelt before the king, 

Owning up to the loss in his name. 

The king rebuked and penalised

In front of an entire court that scrutinised.

"I bet he is freer than me 

Nobody to answer to, he does as he pleases.

The general grunted under his teeth 

As the king ordered him to retreat.


The king was received by advisors in his chamber.

"You must not step out. Your life is in danger."

"Not even to the lawn? The balcony?"

"No, sir, you must stay away from the cacophony 

Of rebels and criminals."

The king moved from room to room 

The castle he built became his prison.

He prayed before the image of God 

"I bet you are a man of your own will, 

Irony, I am the king of the world, 

Yet, a prisoner of my fate."


God smiled, hoping he realised, 

Even God was not beyond His fate. 

He watched the world being built and rebuilt 

Men fighting men, killing them at will. 

He watched the good turn to evil, 

Turning the wheel of faith for the devil. 

He watched as he lost His Love 

His favourite son, His values 

That once led Humanity apart.


Was there anyone existing in the chaos 

The boy, the king, the stars that tangled 

Around the universe, truly free?

Existing outside a pattern, a rule or a system 

Beyond their control?

Another question to ponder upon, 

When you seek absolute freedom.

~ Suranya



Friday, November 8, 2024

Secrets of the Night

 Why does sleep not come to the restless soul?

Why does it hide from sight?

Like a glimpse of your love?

Why do nightmares haunt my daydreams?

Why does life look like nothing but extreme

As I look back at all that is lost?


The string that once tugged at my heart,

Pulling us near and apart,

I was too weak to hold on anymore.

The pearls scattered across the floor,

As I broke free from what hurt,

Your presence in my story

Stung my soul like a poisonous ivy,

In a garden of tulips and roses.


Yet on nights like these,

When it rains, the way it rained tonight,

Drenching our souls in plight,

Quenching our thirst for desires long lost,

Will I be too shallow to admit,

In the deepest corner of my broken heart,

That I miss your presence

Like a page missing from a book?


Why am I writing at midnight?

Awake, alert and sleepless

Why am I scared of my thoughts?

Why does our story not end?

Even when it never began in the first place?

Why does the chapter keep coming back

In haunting memories of past recollection;

The one that I wrote in your name?

Why do I wish for another life,

When I don't want this one?

Why do I wish for it to be true?

In some universe, we exist in parallel,

Writing a different story, a different ending

For me and you.

~ Suranya



Monday, November 4, 2024

Adulting

Remember when we were kids and we thought that 20s were grown-up years, to be moms and wives, because we saw that around us, and we thought people in their 30s had things sorted. They worked, had enough savings to start families and think about investments, cars and homes. Today, in my 30s, I realise I am as clueless about life as I was when I was 15. Yes, I have been forced to "adult" by experiences I never chose to have, traumas I never imagined and mental and physical health issues I once attributed to old people, but am I truly ready to be responsible if I had a choice? We are all forced into our paths of career, choices and decisions as adults more than we ever intend to. The sleepless nights we once spent thinking about our life goals are now stressed with investment issues, parents getting older, people around us leaving all the time for various reasons and our innermost insecurities. We realise that life is not as meaningful or purposeful as we thought it to be. We realise we exist and breathe, and perhaps have no rhyme or reason as to why. We realise that the fact that we thought everything would make sense is untrue. Nothing makes sense in this chaos, and no matter what you plan, they don't work out. Manifestation works for very few people. But I know myself a little better than I did at 15, 1 am less critical about my shortcomings and more accepting of my flaws, and I know the things I don't want in life. That is the part of adulting that I chose to have. The rest of it just came along with life. Every time I hear the term "grow up", it upsets me. Especially when it's said because someone got happy over something silly like having a celebrity crush or finding their favourite ice lollies still taste the same. When did growing up equate to being boringly unhappy? Do we not have enough problems and stress on our plates daily, not to judge if someone gets momentary happiness out of "irrelevant" things? I guess artists know this more than anyone else in the world. We know how to love and respect what we do without equating the time spent with money earned. We know how to hold on to our dreams even if the reality of our situations pushes them further away. In short, we survive in our dream bubbles but are fully aware of the reality around us, so don't be fooled. We choose to be adults in a way that suits us more than it suits society. Why is that a crime in the eyes of realists? Why is everything that goes beyond dull monotony termed immaturity? I have no idea, do you?



Friday, October 11, 2024

Awakening

 I won't be awake in bed, shedding tears 

For yet another stranger of my tribe 

If only I felt less human. 

I would be happy in my bubble 

Of festivities and joy, 

Of food, friends and frolick 

If only I were less aware. 

Is it a boon or a curse?

Here I am in a crowd, 

That celebrates the homecoming 

Of their daughter 

While thousands of parents mourn theirs.

Here I am, heart full of fear 

Hope flickering in despair 

As the Goddess is awake; 

Waiting for Her to strike 

With vengeance on miscreants 

Untouched by humans,

With every hour that goes by 

The sky is gloomy, heart heavy 

As we pray, 

May such a Pujo never see 

The light of day.

© Suranya



Sunday, October 6, 2024

Abhaya Shakti

 The city was dark even in the shimmering lights,

Almost like it was evening at midday.

The rain poured incessantly. 

Like someone cried from the skies above.


She watched the crowd,

Amidst the cloud and downpour,

Looking frantic in joy

Cheering for an idol 

That was quite a lookalike.

They chanted Mantras,

Offered the best of fruits 

Paid their respects, hands folded

Yet she sighed, unimpressed.


She turned her back to the crowd,

Walked away from the light,

Into the darkest alley

Of a city that barely survives.

Hungry eyes asking for help,

Homes washed away, identity at stake.

A teardrop blurred her Kohl-drawn eyes,

As she turned again in a corner

That led to an end.


There stood silhouettes 

Of tortured souls wailing;

Grasping at her, hoping.

Young, old, rich, poor,

Every soul tormented by touch;

She, who is Justice

Stood shocked and helpless at first;

Anger and agony aligned,

As She knelt before them

Weeping in despair, asking questions,

Could she help those who waited for Her?

Was it too late to start?


She felt His touch gently on Her shoulder

Reminding Her to be the Mother

Protective of Her soldiers.

"You are not alone,

Neither were they...

I promise you that, 

Let the blood boil in rage."

She picked up His Trident

Becoming Light Herself.


She was now dark, hungry for blood,

The more she killed, the more they become

Everything evil, every thought, every action.

Tired and frustrated, she stood breathless,

Bruised, undefeated, waiting

When she heard a commotion.

She witnessed fear in the eyes of the enemies 

She could feel Her strength regain,

As footsteps approached Her from the Light,

That of Him and the Children.


She was not alone in this war,

The battle was far from over.

In the distance, voices echoed

In slogans of true worship.

Behind Him, who destroys all and Her Children,

The symbols of prosperity, wealth, knowledge and strength,

Stood millions of men and women.

Children raising their fearless voice,

The Queer, the odd, the rejected, the scared,

Demanding justice for everyone.


She smiled, knowing she could now win the battle,

No matter how many demons came and rattled,

Maybe it would take some time and perseverance.

There were thousands, but Her people were more,

Ones who refused to forget the cries

That haunted Her to the core.


She gave them strength, hope and patience

Promising to come back time and again,

As long as they promised to worship Her in essence,

Respecting Her strength in every woman,

Unlike those with pompous extravagance.


She left this time, unexpectedly early,

Vowing to those who refuse to bow:

The gloomy sky that rained in grey

Once again would find sunshine 

The sleepless eyes, teary and weary

Would once again find their smile.

Suranya




Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Ut-Sab

 দুর্গা মানে মাটির মূর্তি?

দুর্গা আমার রক্ত মাংসের শক্তি।

দুর্গা মানে আলোকসজ্জা?

পাড়ায় উৎসবে মাতোয়ারা?

দুর্গা আমার মশাল হাতে

মিছিলের ভিড়ে স্লোগান তোলা।

দুর্গা কি আজ সুরক্ষিত পথেঘাটে এই শহরে?

উৎসবেতে শবের শোকে দুর্গা কাঁদে অন্তরে।

© Suranya



Thursday, September 5, 2024

The City of Justice

It's 1.30AM on 5th September, 2024. The city of Kolkata is awake as it awaits justice. We have placards, slogans, and protest marches. Thousands are on the streets, young and old. We are singing, dancing, organising street plays, writing poems, and painting streets. Art as a form of protest runs in our veins. I wrote bits and pieces of these writings through the past 27 sleepless nights and sudden feelings of overwhelm. I thought they were too personal to share. Seeing my city in protest today, knowing I have to do my bit, however small, so that tomorrow I can live with self-respect, here's what I do best. Write it all down. It may resonate with some. It may not work with others. But this is for hope. This is for justice. For her who united us in this unbelievable strength to carry on, but had to lose her life for it.

I have always been an opinionated woman. Not sure if I was "raised" that way, or the habit of questioning came naturally to me (My parents still warn me not to give an earful to someone who says something inappropriate). I always took pride when I used to say my city breeds women like me. Who knows what they want? Who doesn't fear asking the right questions? I also took pride in knowing my city, my home, to be my safe space. Nothing could go wrong here. Until it did. Now, when I am out on the streets, protests and slogans fill every bit of the tense city air at a time when the city used to be about "joy" and festivities, I am warned to be careful. I have become more aware of the stares around me, what I wear, where I go and with whom, and even what I say.
I have always been warned in vain to speak after I think, especially about touchy subjects. Like politics. Now, when I raise my voice against atrocities, trying in vain not to be affiliated with any opposing forces, I wonder why we try so hard all the time. Why are we so accustomed to normalising things that are not normal? Like not having a political stand. Being diplomatic. You are human. You should have a voice. Even if it sounds irrational to others. Right? Why is it hard to be opinionated and not judged?
I see these brave men and women, who have taken to the streets, with the tricolour in hand. Housewives, students, doctors, artists, teachers, employees, every woman from every strata, from Sonagachi to Shyambazar, demanding justice for a fellow woman, and I see the pain in each of their eyes, the fear in their voices, the fear I feel. This feeling of women is something alien to men. A feeling that ties us in some way. A feeling that makes me tear up as I write this. But as we demand justice, I can't help but wonder why the world is so bitter towards the same women raising their voices every day.
Recently, a fellow woman let me know that in her early 20s, she felt that people in their 30s who are still single and have no marriage or children are bitter. When I asked her why she felt so, she said it was because they were frustrated and had too many opinions about everything.
Perhaps she was more comfortable with the fact that they could let someone else decide for them.
Single in my 30s (unknown to her), I am neither bitter nor frustrated, nor do I ever feel like I am missing out on anything. But am I angry at the world and its ways? Absolutely. As someone my age is being denied justice every day by the people supposed to protect her, I am angry. As an adult, you are always angry towards something unsatisfactory, I gathered. But I kept wondering what made her think that way as a woman. Then it dawned on me that this is how systematically the society and patriarchy work. She hasn't seen or known better.
If I have an opinion, it's because I hope that speaking my mind will result in something good for the future, perhaps because I read too much History.
It taught me that if one voice raises the right question, it soon becomes a revolution of a million voices.
I am just a woman, hopeful that some day the uncles in the tea stalls and aunties gossiping in the houses would stop saying "educated independent women are the reason for high divorce rates" and start saying "I wish I were like them and had a voice and options to lead my life the way I want to." I wish they would stop saying "Boys will be boys" so that they don't have to say "We want justice". I wish my city stood for what it always stood for. The city of revolution, change and hope. The city of joy... And perhaps the city of justice. Soon.

© Suranya


Friday, August 23, 2024

Majnun's Layli

Once upon a time in the mystic land

Of mountains, forests and caravans,

A tale was woven to be told beyond lives

Of two people from different tribes.

There was Qais, naughty and flamboyant 

A rebel heart, pure soul, misunderstood 

Apple of his father's eyes.

Pampered rotten he would often

Refuse to take his lessons.

There was Layli, beautifully gracious

Chieftain's daughter, always obedient 

Eager to learn, eager to know

She joined the lessons

Where Qais would go.


A strict teacher, two young souls

Eyes met in a recognition age-old.

Beyond this story, beyond this time

They knew each other in realms divine;

As if their book of love

Was written beyond Time.

Punished by the teacher, they would run,

Qais took her hand and led her to fun.

He would often sit alone and stare 

At the mountains, beyond the village

At the river, forests and foliage.

Intrigued by the lesson from him

Layli forgot the classroom limits.

The mountain called, the river sang

As Layli in the meadows danced.


Soon the villagers gossiped and laughed

In the innocent play they took part;

The society that didn't understand

Judged the precious bond

That Qais and Layli had.

Tribes clashed, fathers disapproved 

As Qais waited for Layli in school.

Soon he was in the mountains alone

Imagining their conversation, sitting forelorn.

He talked to Layli in his head,

Sometimes aloud in poems he read.

He imagined her in childish innocence

Dancing in the meadows giggling to herself.


Rumour mills started to rise

Qais was a rebel, Qais wasn't wise.

He roamed the forest and mountains beyond

Like a madman, lovelorn.

He talked to himself, he made poetry

His words made no sense to those listening.

Defeated by his son's plight, Qais's father thought it right

To find him a perfect bride.

No face more perfect than Layli's face

No hair that reminded of the river's grace,

Hearing his son's praise, the father stood at Layli's doorstep.


Unfortunately, her father had heard

The mad rebel that Qais was.

He vowed to find her the best groom 

As Layli begged and pleaded 

But was locked in a room.

On the occasion of Layli's wedding

Qais's father took him to the holy land

But Qais wasn't interested

Beyond the mountain and poetry

Where he could meet his Layli.

When his father reminded him of God

Qais said he was always above 

Around and in them all,

Why look for him in a shrine and four walls? 


His heart has transformed in a Sufi sense.

Unable to understand this feeling and pain

Qais looked for answers around him in vain.

He called the Beloved asking for clarity, 

Soon he called Layli by her name

But in her image he put God's frame.

God became Love, and Love God,

He could no longer tell them apart.

His illusions grew leaps and bounds

As he looked for Layli in everyone,

Couples in love, innocent kids, old men

Beautiful maidens indeed.

He looked for her in mountain rocks,

The river meandering, the trees above.

The birds chirping, the rain drops

Qais wandered in search of Love.


Wherever he found a glimpse of it

In the feeling, he found Layli.

In Oneness, with the faith Divine,

Qais emerged saintly, in a new life.

His love grew leaps and bounds

Beyond attraction, identity and logic he found.

The material world could not bind him any longer

Shedding his clothes Qais traveled beyond yonder,

Transforming into Majnun.


Hearing of Majnun's poems of Love

The impressed king came to stop

By Majnu's cave where animals lived

A wolf, a camel or perhaps even a sheep

None of them killed or bit

As if mesmerized by Majnun's preach

And he sat writing poetry as he pleased.

Hearing of Layli's praises the curiosity grew

To see the most beautiful woman the world ever knew.

But to his shock when the King saw Layli

She looked nothing beyond ordinary.

Watching his astonishment Layli smiled

She urged him to see her through Majnu's eyes.


Tragedy struck in Layli's life, as she stood alone

After her husband's demise.

That was when she decided to be brave

Claim her love for Majnun instead.

But when Layli travelled beyond lands

Defying society's scrutinizing glance

Meeting the man she once knew,

Qais was not Majnun, the saintly man 

Who claimed to love a Layli with whom he grew.

Her life was selfish, love was a choice

His was a claim he made to God.

Unlike hers, which needed validation 

His feelings had pure intentions.


"Who are you?" Majnun had asked

As she sat in his cave, surrounded by onlookers.

"Layli, Qais... Your Layli!" she sobbed

"Do you not recognise me as I have grown up?"

Majnun smiled in a confusing glance,

"If you are Layli, my lady, tell me this,

Who is she who sits and smiles beside me?"

Layli was shocked at the empty rock,

The air around it snatching her existence in a blink. 

"And on the leaves, on that bird" he said 

In a trance "Aren't they Layli too?

God's favourite in the land?"

“But I am…” she pleaded “Look at me!”

Majnun refused with a smile.

“ I know not who you are, lady

But everywhere there's love

There is Layli.

She is in me, in you, in them."


Layli realised Majnun's love was beyond

The realms of this worldly bindings

And to be with him in his world

She had to leave hers behind.

Layli was looking for Qais,

While Majnun had Layli all along

Such was a difference in their love,

A bridge so inhuman it could never make

The two worlds meet.

Life seemed meaningless for Layli now

Who waited all her life knowing

Qais was there somewhere beyond the mountains

Waiting for her to come to him.


She realised her existence was petty

At the mercy of Qais’s reciprocation.

Today Qais was lost, so was Layli

Majnun survived in his Sufi poetry.

She chose poison, a drink of sin

To embrace love as she had never seen

With her last breath, she knew

She would now be the Layli

Majnun grew attached to.

Beyond a body, beyond a name

A soul floating around Majnun’s prayers

Reliving her of her shame.


A strange longing took over him

As Majnun found himself in a graveyard soon,

Looking around the tombstones there

He found his parents and then her near.

He whispered prayers, like he had sinned

As his hand lingered on her name

As if for a moment he remembered 

Everything that Layli was.

He chose a stone and wrote on her grave 

His poems of love and longing as he wept.

His tears intoxicated him like wine

Filling his cup in Love divine.

He no longer wanted to stay away

And prayed to be united with his Beloved.


Years later, they would still be seen 

Running around the meadows giggling.

Qais and Layli, Layli and Majnun.

One and the same, dancing to the river's music.

Beyond the mountain’s mystic fog

They often appeared to those who were lost

Showing them a way to love and 

hope,

Finally free, finally together, 

they made a home beyond earthly affairs

And those who knew a love like that

Beyond human reciprocation and farce

Could still meet them on the other side.


Written by Suranya






Monday, August 12, 2024

In my Corner

The wind whispers warnings to me,

The whirling fan speaks of dark thoughts

Yet another failure, yet another struggle.

From the moment, I feel like not getting up,

To the moment I lay back in bed

Why do we do what we do?

The curtains sway in the gentle breeze,

Forming shapes of memories, only I can see.

Sometimes I speak to You, and I hear

You're answering me.


Your voice is distinct in my head,

 As if I remember how you speak.

I cook up stories in my head,

Happy endings, to help me sleep.

Hoping there is a world somewhere,

Where it's all real, like yesterday was

Without those, my day has no meaning.

I don't care if I don't understand

What I share with you is a bond redefined.

You are the light I seek in my darkness,

The will I chase with hope,

Not to run out of it, as I lay in tears

Struggling to get out of bed again,

Looking for purpose and meaning

Of a small, insignificant life in this chaos.

~ Suranya



Friday, August 9, 2024

I Am Fine

Today, someone asked me, "How are you?"

I felt like crying, lamenting, and sharing. Telling them I can't tell why I feel this way. But I do. I struggle to sleep. I fear happiness. I don't laugh the way I cry anymore. But they won't understand our story, they won't realise how important each night becomes coz I see you there in the darkness of the corner of my room. I can't explain how a simple hug, an unlocked door, an argument, A criticism triggers me the way no person could. So I smile and say, "I am fine," and spend the next hour hearing their problems because I feel guilty of mine being unsolvable.

© Suranya



Wednesday, August 7, 2024

How Are You?

 When someone asks you how you are, 

Is it actually what they mean?

Is it a way to share how they are 

Or perhaps share pleasantries?

When someone asks you how you do

Do they want to hear for real?

How you struggle, want to rant

Cry out loud or simply share?

Or they just want to be polite?

In our "worldness" of being good people 

We pretend to care, listen or sympathise

When in reality, we are too stuck 

With our own issues, to even care.

Then why do you need to ask questions 

Knowing you don't care what they reply?

© Suranya



Tuesday, July 9, 2024

Scars Like Poetry

 Every scar is a reminder of people, places and things.

Lost and found in the debris, of our long lost memories,

Every scar is who we are, inside out.

Sometimes you see them, and sometimes they are hidden

In the mind of the Victim.

Every scar is a milestone, of becoming 

Someone you are not.

Of doing things you never imagined you could.

Of facing reality, carrying on and moving ahead

No matter what comes your way.

And then, with words, carefully chosen

Every scar becomes Poetry.

~ Suranya



Monday, July 1, 2024

Hidden

 Your manipulative brain often plays 

Tricks on people to your favour. 

Your indecisive heart often hurts, 

In a loop of ego and winning pride.

Like a Gargoyle protecting your soul 

Your mind doesn't let the world see 

The real, raw, flawed you; 

Afraid perhaps of being vulnerable 

With your scars.

© Suranya



Friday, June 28, 2024

Guilt trip

 I walk through a busy street in my city,

Faces around me, some tense and some in a hurry.

Some having conversations with a smile,

A blush, a laugh or a bluff.

Domes and arches, red bricked and scarred.

The scorching sun over my head,

Overwhelms me beyond distress.

I feel like I can't breathe, not a tree in sight 

Whose shades I can use to rest.

Concrete highrises provide me no respite.

I look up at the scarce clouds,

With no sign of rains, I curse inwardly

And resume my journey again.


You caused this, says a voice in my head.

The machines, the buildings, everything in between

You can't breathe for your own deeds. 

Its up to you, not me, Mother Nature screams.

The rivers are drying up, water scarce

The guilt hits suddenly as I enter the air conditioned building

The suffocating feeling leaves me cool slowly

Yet I am engulfed in another guilty inkling.

In between our soggy paper straws, brown papers

Expensive cars and holiday jets,

Where do we draw the line

Between comfort, luxury and a better future?

~ Suranya



Wednesday, June 26, 2024

Side Character

 Have you given someone a character

In your story, only to realise 

You were not even a part of theirs?

Have they been a chapter in your life?

A lesson for your love?

Only to realise you were invisible to them?

How does it feel, Dear Shattered Heart, 

To be rejected time and again, 

By different people and the same circumstances?

They say you keep repeating a pattern 

Until you learn a lesson.

If this is a pattern, it's now become my way of life 

I have embraced it with grace, 

That I am this character in everyone's story 

Who is never significant to mention. 

Sometimes hidden away in embarrassment 

Sometimes, snooze till they get hurt again 

Most of the time, blissfully non-existent.

Do I not leave a mark? Do I not stir their hearts?

Who can say, if not they who claim, 

"I forgot what it felt like with you." 

And me? Naive, silly, romantic as I am. 

I play every conversation in my head 

Like a broken record that drowns my existence 

In need of their validation.

© Suranya



Monday, June 24, 2024

If I were Brave

Has this thought ever crossed your mind 

How things would have been had you been mine?

All the entangled feelings that bind
Suffocate and slowly die 

Would have disappeared just by 

That look, when your eyes met mine.

When you asked what I wanted from life 

Why could I not say "For you to be mine"?

You call me the bravest, yet I was not brave enough.

How I wish there had been no ties, 

No worldly attachments, no duties implied, 

I wish I had broken the shackles 

That kept me away from your shrine. 

No wars would keep our love apart; 

That was all I wanted for us. 

But I was not brave enough.

 I know you would not feel the same. 

"Dreams are like the past", you once said, 

"Always perfect, always happy, how easily 

We unsee the unjust, unpleasant, unruly."

Perhaps your divine intervention was true 

For all I remember from the past 

Is the day I met you.

Not a war won, nor a throne, nor praises 

But your eyes are talking to me in verses unsaid.

Tell me, had I been brave, 

Would you have chosen me back 

Accepted me with all your grace? 

Would you have let your feelings rule 

Or rebuked my naivety; 

Be angry at my audacity? 

To feel the unspeakable, 

Choose you, My Princess. 

But I wasn't brave enough.

So when I ride at dawn today, 

Knowing in my heart, 

I will never see you again, 

Do I see your eyes teary? 

Do you long to hug me as I do thee? 

Curse this world and its rules. 

As I pick up my sword for you, un-mourned 

Bleed to death, whispering your name 

Upon whom I submit my soul, beyond this game.

© Suranya



Friday, June 21, 2024

Bravest I Know!

 It's been years since I saw your smile 

The one that used to reach your eyes. 

Innocent questions amused me

As you would stare at me scornfully. 

Today you asked me if you were brave,

Oh, how could I ever tell you, 

You are the bravest I have ever met.

Yes, you do not yield my sword 

Yes, you don't fight for the cause 

Not in the traditional way.

But you, My Queen, have left your throne 

All the palace and adornments alone 

Just to be my strength in war.

Who is as brave as you, my guiding star?

Yes, you pray in fear, I know. 

But with each prayer, a belief in me grows 

I want to win, I want to prove 

Your pride in me is not vanity or untrue.

You who has a hold on me, 

The king, the leader and the braveheart on the battlefield 

And you say you aren't braver than me?

One look from you, one wish that escapes your lips 

Are my purpose, prayers and peace.

A storm you surged in a lovelorn teen 

Refuses to die down after so many years in between. 

Neither your title, nor your beauty 

Neither your skills nor your duty 

You, in existence, upon this earth 

Whose lotus feet blessed upon my cold heart 

Makes it a home, with strength and will 

Who, tell me, is as brave as thee?

© Suranya



Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Am I Brave Enough?

You come home with scars and pain 

Yet I know your heart never heals, 

With my most skillfully made balms; 

The scars of betrayal by your own 

You have learnt to live with and grown, 

What else could you do?

Yet every time I promise to be brave 

Smile through your goodbye 

Trying to fight back my tears 

For the sake of a title that weighs 

While you ride away to the horizon 

I wish I were as brave as you.

You say I give you the will to come home 

After every battle, big or small, 

You win or lose, it doesn't matter 

You will always be a hero in my eyes.

But there are times when no news arrives 

For days, weeks, and months 

Some say the troops are moving 

Others report them losing 

Some say you went missing 

And all I can do is pray harder 

For I am not as brave as you, 

To pick up the sword and lose my honour; 

But am I as brave as you? 

You can rise from losses and win 

You say I am your strength. 

But every time I embrace you. 

My hands tremble in fear; 

What if this is the last?

How can I be your strength?

I always fear, pray and panic. 

For I am not as brave as you.

If you lose a battle, you fight another 

If I lose, I will forever be the mourner 

Because in my heart, as selfish as it may seem 

The only thought that comes every evening, 

Over the motherland, soldiers and sons, 

As I pray with trembling hands is:

"What if I lost you?"

Now will you call me as brave as you?

© Suranya



Monday, June 17, 2024

Not Brave Enough

 Letters that were lost in transit 

Taken for unanswered questions. 

People who went missing in wars,

Mourned as dead, yet with flickering hope.

She wished to step into the arena 

Sword out to defend her cause. 

She wished that she were 

Brave enough to shed blood.

But all she heard time and again 

Was a voice in her mind as a reminder 

"You are only a woman. What can you do?"

"But I am the richest in the world" 

"They say it's because of your father"

"But I am brave."

"Not like your brothers."

"But I love him."

"You aren't brave enough to confess."

The wine spilt over the carpet. 

Soaking in blood red stains 

The title over her head 

Loomed like a death sentence. 

The cost of her life was his death, 

Whom she could not mourn in public.

© Suranya



Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Q & A with Patriarchy

"Isn't home supposed to be more than a house?

A place where you belong?"

"We put your name on the door. What more do you want?"

"Aren't the people in it supposed to be your own tribe,

Who stands by you no matter what?"

"Not when you don't listen to what they say. Obey, rather than have your own mind."

"How does it feel to be a stranger in your own home?

Unfamiliar with your own people?"

"It's your fault you feel that way."

"How does it feel knowing the place you thought to be your identity was the source of all the traumas you endure, secretly screaming into the pillow every night?"

"Now, don't be so dramatic, women before and after you feel the same!"


"You are only another woman. You must be adjusting to the world of men, Ready to be a second-class citizen."

"But what if she is not tailor-made for it?

What if she wants her own corner in your place?"

"A woman with her own space is dangerously independent. 

We cannot allow that.

She should be under a man's identity."

"To satisfy your fragile egos, she should not demand what is rightful? A place to belong to? A space to breathe that is hers?"

"I see that education has gone to your head. You are demanding absurd things like equality and respect."

© Suranya



Monday, May 20, 2024

In Love?

 I sit beside you 

Watching you read, 

And I miss you terribly.

Do I make sense?

I miss the time you held my hand 

Every time we sat together.

Now the cushion between us 

Screams silently of bridges 

We never cross.

We stay together but never indulge. 

In meaningful conversations like before.

The only words spoken are in need 

And it makes me wonder 

Am I still in love with you? 

Remember the times you 

Couldn't get your eyes off me?

Now you barely look up from your phone.

Remember when an accidental touch.

Excited our cores?

I don't feel like that anymore.

Do habits do away with feelings? 

Or comfort do away with efforts? 

It shouldn't be this way, right? 

When two people are in love?

© Suranya



Friday, May 10, 2024

Improbable

 I prefer to stay in my head 

Where you and I are still a thing.

The storyline fits every love song 

That I saved in our shared playlist.

Sometimes we are star-crossed lovers

Sometimes childhood friends 

Sometimes we meet and part 

Never to see each other again.

I know your smile. 

Your deep brown eyes.

I know your favourite food. 

And how you react to certain flowers.

There's a lock on the door. 

Of this world that belongs to your thought

The words are my key 

To let others into your realm.

Yet I must be careful. 

They should never know all our secrets.

© Suranya



Wednesday, May 8, 2024

In-Toxic-ation

 I place a rose on the tomb of Us, 

The petals wither 

And the thorns remind me of you 

Hurting each other till we last.

I burn from within in unfulfilled desire. 

Looking for a purpose in the debris of lost hope. 

But then comes the wind that puts out the fire 

Forcing me to move on. 

I resist. I protest. I can't forget.

I won't forgive.

With each step that I was forced 

To drag back into your chessboard

I leapt forward twice.

I learnt to let go, 

I was taught to forgive.

I am resilient, fighting till I burn 

Raising my voice for things 

That only mattered to me; 

Only to realise, I was a kid then, 

A rebel without a cause 

Who was I to fix you?

Hope that you treat the next woman better? 

By forgiving someone who never apologised.

© Suranya



Monday, May 6, 2024

Tomb of my Past

 I can only sleep when the world is awake.

I spend my darkness in your realms.

I burn the pages I wrote about you 

Only to rewrite them every night.

Is it a disease or a habit now?

I can't really tell.

My insomnia grows every single day. 

And now I can barely tell reality from dreams.

You seem so real, like I can stretch my arms 

And touch you. Yet I can't.

I long for you yet 

I don't want you near me.

I fear it will break the illusion of you 

That I created around my world.

You are perfect in it, the way I want 

Like the role play of a character in my story.

You are like the forgotten lines 

Of the poems I once knew by heart.

A familiar face in a stranger's body 

You are pictures, memories and places 

And a Tombstone of regret 

Over the grave of my past.

© Suranya



Friday, May 3, 2024

The Greatest Writer

 "The typewriter tap dances 

Right in the centre stage 

Where the protagonist meets

Their fate."

The writer pauses 

In between spaces, 

Pages to be changed 

Ink to be replaced

Often wondering about

The One Greatest Writer of them all.

The One whose commas continue life 

And periods end chapters good and bad. 

Tragedy, comedy, romance and drama 

Sometimes thrillers and dark desire 

They can write any genre without a care.

Are we all protagonists in life?

Most aren't in books. 

Some are just side characters existing. 

Driving others' stories.

What if the writer is one of them?

Never a protagonist in her own life? 

Could something be more nightmarish

Than that?

© Suranya



Wednesday, May 1, 2024

Intoxication

 I cry on my pillow with silent screams

I turn the music up

Hoping it makes your voices fade away.

I know they are in my head 

As they haunt my solitude each night.

Your promises and apologies drown 

In the lyrics and enchanting voice 

That now engulfs my world.

Reality vanishes into clouds.

Of words that shape stories.

As I pick up my quill

Dip it in ink and begin to write, 

The paper soaks in the lines.

I am not me anymore

This story was never mine to begin with.

They say you need to be intoxicated

To feel above it all.

Aloof. Dissociated.

But here I am, pushed and shoved 

With my back to the wall.

Shouting that I can't care less 

Afraid that nobody could hear me.

You all made me like this. 

Pushed me over the edge 

All of you, the sweet talkers, promise breakers

Who never stuck by when I needed you. 

Today, I know no drug can harm me 

No habit can compel me. 

For Hurt is the most powerful intoxication of all. 

And heartbroken I am, in the toxicity called life.

© Suranya



Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Let Go

The rain reminds me of letting go. There is something beautiful yet melancholy about letting go. Cleaning your room often feels like therapy. But it also takes you down nostalgia lanes to places you may not want to visit. Like that pair of earrings someone once gifted me. We don't talk anymore. I have no idea what she is doing. The colour of the earrings has faded the same way as our friendship. That one pendant I wore to a memorable date once. The stones have come off, yet a part of me wanted to keep that as a memory of a person who never was anything. Just because I had a good day. I discarded that with longing. I know now that every time I open my jewellery box and do not see it, perhaps I will not remember that day anymore, and I am okay with it. Then come the most precious possessions. Scrapbooks, handwritten letters, artwork. People you never met often leave a mark on your life. You keep things to remember them by. There is no harm in holding on to attachments. But I realised we need to strike a balance between that and letting go. Hold on to things that make you smile. Let go of those that hurt you or remind you of an old self you aren't quite proud of. Most people say that to move forward, we need to discard or shed old baggage. I agree. But then it's equally important to keep some things that remind you of good days and lessons. What do you think?

©Suranya

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Productivity Guilt

Sometimes there are days you feel like not getting out of bed, not being productive and staring at the empty Google Doc document with the cursor blinking for hours. Even if the words come, they are forced and not flowing, and backspaces do most of the job. Shutting off the laptop, going for a motivational walk, having a coffee to wake your brain up or even watching something doesn't help. But why are unproductive days not normalised? We are humans, not machines. There are days I sleep four hours and write so much that I forget my lunch time, and there are days I feel like doing nothing. Then why do I feel guilty about the unproductive days? Like I "wasted" a day rather than taking time off. Especially if I am writing a story nowadays, I usually write one chapter and go through the previous few per day. That way, the draft and correction go hand in hand, and I know if the chapters are syncing. But on days I can't write or I feel the plot or sentences are off-putting because I am not at my creative best, instead of taking the day off and doing what I feel like doing, I sit and sulk in front of the laptop because I failed the expectations of having a productive day. I wonder if it's an alien feeling or something everyone relates to. I wonder if it is because of the rat race, engagement, algorithm and everything else that has now become important than the art itself that we as artists feel guilty of not being able to produce something constantly. Some people do prefer quantity over quality, but I am not one of those. Sometimes it costs me my reach or readers. But somehow, even after reading so much, I can't seem to normalise unproductive days as part of who I am. Thought?

© Suranya

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Embrace Your Void

They say when something ends, something else starts. Usually, it's better than what ended. But nobody tells you that between an end and a beginning, there is a period of void. Uncertainty and self-doubt exist and often drown you in darkness. Don't let the void consume you. It is the blank page between two chapters of life. A time of self-discovery and rest before you embark on another adventure in life.

© Suranya

Monday, February 26, 2024

The Ships That Never Sailed

 "I would never love someone like I love you."

I promised in full sincerity. 

To the first I ever loved.

In letters, journals and poetry 

Pouring my heart out in words 

For that was the only way I knew 

To shower love.

But what value would words have 

To the deaf ears of materialism? 

I was blamed for not being like 

The rest of them.

(What does that even mean?) 

And there I stood. Abandoned.


"I would never love someone like I love you." 

I said to the second chance. 

In emails, messages and raw emotion 

Often disguised as crude jokes. 

I was afraid to be vulnerable. 

This time, there was no goodbye. 

Ghosted by humans and memories of the past. 

I was shattered.


"I would never love again..."

I looked at you and lied.

You weren't my first of anything. 

Nor special like that.

Not one who would reassure,

"I am not like them."

How would I know?

I pushed you away because 

I was scared of hurting myself; 

So I hurt you instead.


"I would never love someone the way I love you." 

I looked into the mirror, tired, sleepless eyes 

Unhealthy habits and wary of the body 

I promised myself this time. 

And I intend to keep my vow.

© Suranya