I Don't Know What Love Is...

 I don't know what love is, but if I ever feel it

It should be once in a lifetime.

No second chances, no moving on, no rebounds.

I don't know what Love is.

People say it's overrated when they are hurt.

People in it believe it's magic.

That toe-curling butterfly feeling when someone looks at you,

Like you are precious and priceless.

I don't know what Love is.

I read about it in books.

Yet every time I look at couples,

I somehow know,

Exactly what love should be and not pretended to be.

I don't know what love is.

But if I ever fall in love,

I want it to be exactly the way I dream of

Everything or nothing.

Love is always a choice, and I want to be chosen.

I don't know about love, but I know it's not lust.

Not dates, gifts or desires to possess.

Love is more than words and praises,

False Promises and Vows.

In this world of right and left swipes,

I doubt that anyone actually knows

What Love Is.

~ Suranya

Missing

 How do you miss a feeling you never had?

Like the warmth of their hand in yours, 

Even when all you can touch are cold screens.

Like their heart beat in your ears, 

When you don't know what it sounds like?

The lingering touch of their lips on your skin, 

Their eyes meet yours for the first time?

How do you miss a home you never had?

It only exists in your imagination,

The maybes and should-bes of love.

Like some formula with theoretical exceptions.

~ Suranya

Meeting With Destiny

She frowned eagerly as something reached her hand

A dried seed, she stared in awe.

Across the river, there was a crowd

The man in meditation wore garlands of it.

Who was He?

Long locks, falling over his shoulder, his body smeared in ashes,

A face so calm and expressionless, almost like a foreigner to feelings

He seemed to come from beyond the mountains.

Tribal attire, posture of glow and grace

She stared mesmerised at his face.

He looked up at the delicate one, who dared to chant His name

At the palace that treated him like a nomad, he was now God.

She chanted His name like she owned Him; a shiver ran down His spine. 

Young and gentle, in meditation; she was a princess so divine.

Rich clothes, materialistic life, she was brave enough to look beyond

Her warrior-heart chose Him.

He taught her soul searching, she sought her purpose in life,

He smiled in composure and hidden pain for The Timeless knew the future.

Even He was not beyond Fate, still He called her His.

Love was such a twist of destiny, it turned God into Devotee.

A wanderer into a household, strong was its magic

Even the ones beyond emotion were not devoid of Love.

She was his purpose. He hers. Souls answered.

~ Suranya

Masked?

WHY DO YOU FEAR UNMASKING YOUR TRUE SELF? IS IT THE FEAR OF VULNERABILITY OR THE ANTICIPATION OF NOT STANDING UP TO EXPECTATIONS?

~ Suranya

Questions

How can I make people believe in something

If I don't see it myself?

How can I make people have faith, in the purest form of Love

When it seems absent around me?

I fold my hands in prayer before you,

"Show me a way, to make my purposes true."

You smile at me, in your calmness

A moment of silence passes by,

I stare with bated breath waiting,

A question comes to mind.

Was I being too selfish here? 

Was I asking for things beyond my fate?

My devotion to You was never selfish, I took pride in my faith.

The silence broke in a very usual way, with a notification pop on my phone.

I finish my prayers, hoping You would answer me, 

With all the trust I have in You.

With that, I checked my phone.

Someone had asked me an eager question,

What was the love You shared with Her like?

It did not last, yet again You found Her

For eternity and beyond.

There was a sudden shiver down my spine,

I smiled in realisation, knowing that was You.

Of course, what I believe in exists, maybe not around me.

But in the frame that You shared with Her, in You and in Me.

~ Suranya

(13.09.2018)

Hidden Love

 You are my story,
Hidden between the lines
Words too small for feelings,
In every song and tale,
In every lyric and poem,
In every quote and dream.
You are my story,
Imperfect, unworldly and complicated.
Yet one I read again and again.
At the end of it, I know.
Yet in the beginning, I yearn.
You are my story.
Yet sometimes you just
Make me wonder,
Am I yours, too?

~ Suranya

Your Home

 I walk the path unknown, I wait from dawn to dusk.

Looking at the horizon with eager eyes.

You rode away once to fulfil your purpose.

You promised me love, the one love I waited for

The kind that changed the world, beyond this lifetime.

You were so different yet so similar, a mystery yet familiar,

The Light in my Darkness of Life.

You are my God, I, Your humble Devotee,

You are Love, I, your faithful Lover.

You called me the muse to your Music,

I danced to the tune of your flute.

Years turned to decades, and I waited for you with hope,

My eyes fixed on the horizon, hearing your lore.

I hear You made a home of palaces and cities of your own.

I hear You battled in wars; ran away from some unscathed.

I prayed every day for You.

But I wonder, in my own grief and loneliness at times,

Do you ever want to know my wishes?

I wished to have a corner of your heart to myself.

I wish we could tell the world about Love,

How a simple woman my age, could fall for the cowherd boy.

How Love bloomed in Vrindavan when we met

How fate entwined in mysticism,

Our souls recognised each other with no regrets.

I wish I was right there, beside you on a swing

You would have made it just for me.

I wish I could wear the Vermillion every day,

In Your Name, instead of his.

I smile at my despair; I have lost all hope.

Love is so much pain; Your Radha can no longer cope.

Perhaps in the next life, or the one after,

We will meet again in different fate and names,

And I can call you mine, yet people remember,

"There was once a Radha, 

On the bank of the Yamuna,

Who lived and died for Love."

I decided to end this life of Sin. I pray you remember me.

I want to separate from this agony that engulfs me.

No desires hold me back any longer, 

I have broken the shackles of Maya

But for once, just for once, before my leap of faith

I wish, O Beloved, I wish so much,

That I was the One,

You called your Home.

~ Suranya

Overthinker

 Stop thinking please, dear Heart, 

Dreadful nights, please don't start! 

Remembering things, unsure and obnoxious. 

What are you doing with choices so obvious? 

Doubts and reasons, shroud restless 

Almost like a suffocating knot Around the neck.

Breathe uneasy, struggle to find balance.

Compliments and flattery, 

Attachments, all a treason! 

Why doesn't the night end? 

Sleep doesn't come anymore. 

Alone, anxious, confused and disturbed, 

The Mind makes the Heart perturbed.

~ SURANYA

Coming Back To You

 She burnt in rage, the fire engulfed her soul.

Her body was ablaze, with the guilt that broke

An audience stood in awe, as the smoke rose.

Cries and wails of her mother and sisters

The soul formed a shape, with a thousand hands

Three eyes shining, vermillion fiery red

Everyone froze as her calm face spoke

In a voice of power, echoing cold and wise,

"Maybe in another life, in another time,

I will have the strength to fight for you

To be fit for you, to complete us."

She lay lifeless as everyone gasped.

Her voice reached his ears, enraged he stood

Losing Himself in love and loss

The dance of destruction burnt His heart.

Years passed by and a sixteen-year-old,

Stood in front of a Yogi, wise and old

One who had lost His worldly longings

She folded her hands, pleading:

"Accept me for who I am and You will see,

I am strong enough to hold on,

To fight for us, to choose you against all odds."

He opened His eyes, and His heart skipped a beat,

For before Him stood, the wife He lost and grieved.

He was Timeless, yet Time played its trick,

Fulfilling Her vows, was His Sati as Parvati.

~ Suranya

The Braveheart

 She was shocked, speechless and aghast,

At the revelations happening before her.

In the forest, she once called home, 

She was left abandoned.

He, who once held her hand, 

Vowed to love and protect her

Left her homeless, without words, in despair.

His silence spoke a thousand truths

Which were disguised lies.

His blood in her womb, she thought he cared

But her love had failed, her heart shattered.

Sad and dejected, she built a cocoon

Calling it home, she nurtured her womb.

He who once fought the world for her,

Could not fight his own.

Her hands pained from holding on,

Year after year of waiting on,

Hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

But now she waited no longer.

The Daughter of the Earth, 

Warrior heart of Mithila,

Decided to be brave again.

He was now King, her husband was a past.

A queen in her hermitage, 

follow Dharma, she must.

She taught her children his deeds, 

All wonderful and brave,

She taught them

Dignity was greater

Than love and faith.

She saw them grow up, singing his praises

Not knowing who he truly was.

The war between father and sons forced her to intervene.

She smiled, hurt at the King she did not know.

He was alone, yet she had lost her hope.

He who had once been her soul was not brave enough for her

Standing before her, hands folded in silence

Yet with very little to apologise for.

Karma made him follow his Dharma, he said

She smiled in forgiveness, tears and closure.

What was she expecting? The flickering hope was long dead.

She called upon her Mother Earth, invoking her in prayers

To perish within her with all her pain,

Finally being free from despair.

Her character questioned, her trust shaken,

She had no reason to live in this society longer.

He now understood what he had lost, 

Was it more than the crown and its duty?

Perhaps, because he never realised until now,

She lived and died with grace, self-esteem and pride,

Holding on to their love, 

But letting go of him.

~ Suranya

Pride Tribe

 A storm lashes outside,

Of change and acceptance.

Another lurks in my heart,

In hope, love and joy.

Windows of every heart open.

Today, the soil welcomes the downpour.

Not denying the rebellion any longer.

The Gale whispers of new Freedom.

Finally, the doors of the mind are ajar,

With a tiny lamp of Hope flickering

In the strong wind of resistance.

Equality is not a myth,

Justice prevails after every war

And Nature celebrates the Natural.

In a destructive dance of ultimate rebellion

The thunder screams for all of us,

"Accept me for who I am."

~ Suranya

Majnun

 Your glimpse makes my eyes feel blessed,

As it beholds Your beauty a little longer,

Captures Your image in my head

And lets me survive one more day.

In the world, I create around You

I am the lone Warrior, the sole Martyr

The King to Your Queen.

Our Abode is a source of Eternal Happiness.

Reality doesn't ruin dreams there,

You are my Reason and Muse.

I write Poetry, sing them to You

Like prayers to the Beloved.

Unlike this world, no ties bind us

Unlike them, you don't deny me for who I am.

For You are the destination of my wandering heart

The Answer to all my questions.

Since eternity You and I have been One

You see my adoration, call it love

But for those who don't understand

My Love is Madness.

~ Suranya