A Life Beyond

February 1943, Vienna

She always complained about how vague he was with goodbyes. Whether he was coming back in a few hours or in days or weeks, she could never tell. He would walk away as briskly as he did, as if he were going to the market. He laughed at her childish complaints, mostly because there was nothing he could do about them. All his life, he had assumed that having a family would tie him down to more worldly things. He wanted to be free of attachments one way or another. But who knew what fate had in store for him when she walked in through his office door with her innocent eyes and smiling face. In a life of war, she was when he truly felt at peace. He picked up his hat as the radio chattered on about the impending wars and damage of last night's air strikes. She was nurturing the baby close to her bosom, smiling down at her sleeping figure and whispering her name into her ears. The sense of being watched made her look up at him as he smiled, almost sheepishly, like a teenage boy would if his crush looked up at him. He wondered if his fellow countrymen would find it hard to picture him like this, a man completely in love with his wife and child. She smiled at him as he approached her with the attaché case in hand.

"Are you leaving?" She whispered, concerned. But there are so many spies..." She stopped as he kissed his sleeping child's forehead. When do I see you again?" She held out her hand as he held it back with a silent smile. She knew he couldn't tell, yet it was a habit to ask. A habit to hope that one day he will give her a time and she would count the days backwards till they saw each other again.

She wished he would visit often now that the baby girl was here. She wouldn't want Anita to forget her father. But she remembered every word of every letter he had ever written to her. My first love... My motherland..." Emilie's eyes shone as he stepped back, letting go of her hand and walking away briskly... There you go again." She murmured. But this time was different. This time, he stopped at the threshold and turned to see her holding his child in her arms. Like he was imprinting an image of them in his head for a long cad ahead. Something in Emilie's stomach churned. Something told her this goodbye was different from the rest. This goodbye would be longer than she could imagine. She smiled, wiping away her tears as he disappeared from her view. She remembered some words her mother had once spoken as she kissed her sleeping baby and held her close. "Are you sure about what you are choosing, Emilie?"

"Yes, a lifetime of waiting."