Smoke Rings of Realisation

 I saw you make rings of smoke 

Of the cigarette you lit as we lay together. 

Your hand felt sweaty in mine 

You shrugged it off, complaining about the summer. 

I stared at my empty finger as the ring you made 

Disappeared into thin air just like promises. 

That was the moment I felt suffocated with you. 

And it had nothing to do with the smoking.

Did our story begin somewhere? 

Or did it end in a whelm? 

Did we know the date or time 

We promised that everything would be the same 

Or the exact moment we fell out of love? 

Was it a mere habit or just the pain of separation 

That kept us together all this time? 

Were we ever in "love" with each other 

Or we were simply the easiest option 

Not to feel lonely at night; 

To be emotionally validated or even 

Pretending to be cared for?

All I know now is that, with sunrise 

I have to pick up my clothes and bid you goodbye 

And as I do, I will never see you again. 

Because life is too short to pretend 

Pretend to be happy, pretend to be in love, 

Pretend that you are fine. 

I am not, and I am not afraid 

To choose me over you.

© Suranya



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