I saw you make rings of smoke
Of the cigarette you lit as we lay together.
Your hand felt sweaty in mine
You shrugged it off, complaining about the summer.
I stared at my empty finger as the ring you made
Disappeared into thin air just like promises.
That was the moment I felt suffocated with you.
And it had nothing to do with the smoking.
Did our story begin somewhere?
Or did it end in a whelm?
Did we know the date or time
We promised that everything would be the same
Or the exact moment we fell out of love?
Was it a mere habit or just the pain of separation
That kept us together all this time?
Were we ever in "love" with each other
Or we were simply the easiest option
Not to feel lonely at night;
To be emotionally validated or even
Pretending to be cared for?
All I know now is that, with sunrise
I have to pick up my clothes and bid you goodbye
And as I do, I will never see you again.
Because life is too short to pretend
Pretend to be happy, pretend to be in love,
Pretend that you are fine.
I am not, and I am not afraid
To choose me over you.
© Suranya
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