From The Quill

चल आज फिर एकबार वो बरसों पुरानी खेल खेलते है। प्यार में हम दुनिया भूल लेते है। तू रूठे में मनाऊ, तू माने तो में सताऊ, बातों में तेरे यूं मुस्कुराऊ; बेवज़ह एक धुन आज गुनगुनाऊँ। आज तू फिर एक बार हाथ थाम ले, में एक और बार निहार लू तुझे। आज चल फिर इस दुनिया से दूर एक कहानी लिखते हैं। उस जगह की और उन लोगो की, जो हकीकत बनते बनते यूं ख्वाबो में खो गए। ~ Suranya

 Man went out in search of God. He saw the Sun  And wondered,  "A unique ball of fire in the sky  Giving me warmth, food and light.  I have found God!" He set up rituals, places of worship,  Kept a shrine, wished for things in greed When Drought dried up the streams  Water was rare, and conditions extreme. "Oh, I can't live without Water! Not the sun, but  Water is our God", he screamed Travelling in the desert, food was scarce,  Not a tree in sight, or fruits to savour "That's it, the Trees must be God!" He inferred. Cold winds blew, and he needed fire to keep him warm.  "The Fire must be God."  He exclaimed, stacking wood, "It also helps us cook." Wild beasts attacked, man overpowered them,  It didn't take him long to realise His brains were different from theirs. A house was built of wood, mud and stones  Mansions sprang up with marble domes,  Irrigation controlled famine and droughts, Dams the flood, knowledge spr...

 In no time... Will the conversations become monotonous; The stories same old. You know exactly where to laugh and where to frown, The mystery of discovery will be gone.  You'd know what to expect out of me.  Trigger my occasional blushing. Soon, silence will fill the room,  Or the phone line, which I hold close  Just to hear you breathe into it.  Soon, I will have no secrets from you  To unravel the enigma you think me to be. You will soon see what I am.  And I wonder... Will you go seeking adventure then  Elsewhere, where the grass is greener? Treat my mistakes as though they were sins? Or be like you have always been?  Like nothing has changed. You know why it scares me like nightmares? Coz that's the moment of truth.  The time love is tested.  That's the time the tinted glasses break  The time you should hold on to flaws  To choose a lifetime with me or walk away. ~ Suranya

 Sometimes a relationship becomes like a dead human being. You remember the happy memories. You talk of the good old days. And you forget to make new memories together. That's when the problems start... And you realise the relationship has become a ghost of the past. Just like someone close to you yet dead. It's perhaps then time to move on and Let the grave be decorated in flowers of memories. ~ Suranya

 Half a world away, Night and Day apart, Time zones twisted,  Hearts never part. No see everyday No touch of your skin on mine,  The pillow feels like your hugs. The increasing count  Of days apart that bugs. ~ Suranya

 On the other side  Of my endless waits for you,  And your hopeless missing me There is a place where  Time will stand still  When you hold your hand,  And we will finally be Home. ~ SURANYA

Humanity is dead,  It is their funeral today.  Venue, you ask?  On the street of Intolerance. Turn left on Phobia,  And you will see the building of Privilege. Reach the floor of Misogyny,  Don't confuse it with Patriarchy,  They may look the same, but they aren't. You will find the hall of Racism, In the darkest corner of that floor;  Enter through the gate of Casteism,  Carry your identity cards along too.  Otherwise, you will be termed "Refugees". But what will you do at the funeral?  Nobody is in attendance at such a mania  Because it's not trending on social media.  ~ Suranya

 Barso purani yeh baat hai,  Choti si ek ladki thi; Dil mein uske aas yoon jagi  Apni kahani dhundne nikli thi. Kaha kaha na dhunda usne,  Kaha kaha yoon bhatki thi;  Galiyon mein, logo mein, Paharo mein samunder mein,  Yaha tak ke baarish aur dhoop mein bhi,  Apni kahani dhoondhti firti thi bechari. Par afsoos, usse uski kahani nahi mili.  Zindagi ke kitaab ke kuch panne adhure thee,  Anjaan sa ek darr tha aur kirdar bade ajeeb thee. Logo ne kaha jhalli hai,  Utpatang si sapne bunti rehti hai,  Kya bekar mein aas lagaye baithi hai. Aise milti hai kya kahaniya? Jaise bazaar mein bikta koi khilona? Par yeh dekho, ek din aisa hua,  Ke yoon achanak kahani dhundte huye Woh mujhse aake takrayi. Woh lekhak nahi, kavi nahi,  Par baaton mein mujhko bohot bhaayi. Aur usse achanak aisa laga ke shayed Usko uski kahani mil gayi. Iss kahani mein dekho woh thi  Jaise hamesha hona chahti thi Azad.  Khush. Thodi si pagal.  ...

 "I was raped." "Prove it", they said. "But you caught the monster!" "You can also be an imposter." "Why will I do that?" "Your clothes, your attitude Your religion, your caste  All point at you as guilty  Question you, we must!" "But what's my crime?" You are a woman, enough said." "I am a Dalit too." "Casteism isn't the issue." "Why do you say your caste so proudly then?" "It is not a case of hate, let's reason." "Then why was I chosen to teach a lesson?" Endless debates, TRP on rise,  But in the end, no surprise  I had to pay with my life,  While you kept your vanity and vice. ~ Suranya

 I often wonder as you speak,  Spread your venom through words and deeds, What does it take to be kind? Why is it so hard to find? Perhaps you need a little empathy,  A bit of tolerance,  A pinch of humility  And a lot of love,  Is it so hard to lack? What does it take to be nice? A few good words,  A little encouragement  Finding positivity  And a lot of confidence. I wonder why the world has lost its kindness. Perhaps because in putting others down  In making them cry  In proving others wrong  And abusing their ideas; One seeks the superiority  They otherwise lack vision. ~ Suranya

 Does my voice not reach you? Does my breath not echo? I keep repeating myself,  In desperate need to be heard. Why am I so difficult to interpret? Is my language different from yours? Why am I so hard to understand? Or do you ever try to? Each passing day, each dark night,  Little by little, my heart beats slower  I slip into oblivion in shreds of the past Hoping to be immortal,  In ink and ideas; I write down everything you can't hear  In verses, phrases and letters. Hoping that some day,  Long after I leave,  Someone will understand them,  Hear me plead. Connect to the voices silenced,  Value my thoughts. It is perhaps then,  I will truly LIVE through my words. ~ Suranya

 What is true peace? In between the words and verses,  In the smell of books, old and new,  And the knowledge that lay,  Waiting to be discovered;  There is a tiny space between the chapters,  In blank white pages, for you and me,  To discover ourselves in. That, my friend, is peace,  Of the mind, heart and soul,  That is eager to conquer knowledge  With Wisdom. ~ Suranya

 "Mine." One declares, putting a mark,  While they looked away, another took a part,  And just like that, land became scarce,  It was divided, yours and theirs; "Mine." Unknown voices lost,  Those thousands knew the deadly cost.  They lost their homes, you had your stand,  "Refugees", they were, in a known land. ~ Suranya

 On the sunset of tolerance,  In the bleak hope of light,  Speak up your opinion,  Thrive in harshness.  To survive.  If you keep mum today,  Agree in fear of tyranny,  The future will not forgive you  For causing the beginning of such a felony. ~ Suranya

 "Who is there for me to rely on? To understand my sorrows,  Every time I feel there's no tomorrow? Who is there to bring peace to the turbulent heart? Music to the lyrics, long lost perhaps?" I ask You in accusation. You smile at me as though I am a fool  Remind me of things they don't teach in school. "Look," You said, "at the waters of the fountain,  The pond, lakes, and waterfalls in the mountains,  And you will find the one you seek,  Ask them to consider your desperate plea."  So I walked up a small hill, then a mountain,  Down by the stream, and a fountain,  I searched and searched, but all I found was me,  Agitated, animated, I told You  "Reflection is all I see." "Exactly" You calmly stare at me. ~ Suranya

 Here I am Alone at last,  Fluttering my wings, hearing them flap.  Leaving behind a cocoon of suffocation,  Of attachments and limitations,  I fly above, leaving them all behind,  Worldly beings, unjust minds  This Fakira flies closer to You,  Reaching out to your warmth  In a happy pursuit.  And here it comes, a gust of wind.  Sweeping away the bodily being:  Struggling to stay alive, tired, I let go,  Blending into the Universe in afterglow;  Becoming One in a dance of Souls,  You and I, I and You, never getting old.  The broken wings reminding them all,  "She was once beautiful and bold." ~ Suranya

Gravely ill or mostly isolated in  a room, fairly bored, thinking of  possibilities and fearing the  inevitable doom, we often reflect  back on the journey already travelled,  the options explored, and paths not  chosen. What ifs shroud our minds,  and we often think of the choices  we never made. What if we went that  way? Would our story be any different?  What if we never loved the people  we loved? Never regretted our  choices? Never understood right  from wrongs? Would we still be the  person we are? Maybe not. But would it all decrease the pain we felt in life? Maybe so. If we never felt pain, how would we understand it? Funny how every time we feel pain, physical or otherwise, we tend to think we have never felt so much before. We have never been hurt this way. But is there truly a parameter to measure the different pains under different circumstances? I guess not. Therein lies the beauty of life. If we never h...

 Raindrops fall like tears  On the rosy cheeks of Heaven,  Deafening on the window panes,  I can't hear the world outside.  But I hear You, wrath and roar,  Speak to me in whispers of the wind,  Tell me stories in rustling leaves. Enlighten me if You please,  Of what lies beyond, and above,  Endless, boundless and far.  How insignificant this Fakira is,  Like a meteor among the millions of stars.  Waiting to die out someday,  Falling in her Beloved's lap. ~ Suranya

 A Sage set out to roam the world  Teach it things he had known. First in the crowd, he spotted a man,  Fighting with another over a loan unreturned. "Oh, these money-hungry rats!" The Sage spoke, irked. "Desire destroys!" He reminded his followers. He roamed about a park and spotted a few teens. "Raging hormones!" He shrugged, "Desire extreme." He met a performer, pausing for claps,  "You desire fame." He warned her. A writer refused to sell away his art. "You desire recognition, let it go." He warned, "Or else starve!" Back to his humble hut, alone at last,  He suddenly felt a restlessness,  Sick in the stomach. Doctors were called, Fakirs summoned,  Some gave him tricks, some advised, all amiss. The wise old man gave him a cup of drink,  "God calls this elixir of life, try some." "This can work, it seems", with that  He drank the wine down, slept in peace,  Waiting for a miracle to unfold in ea...

There was a time when if you told them, "Hey, not only can you talk to people anywhere across the world in real time, but you can also see them." They would probably have dismissed it as a crazy idea. The people in a pandemic that hit a hundred years ago lived through words and letters. Letters that sometimes arrived after the person had arrived or passed away. Years probably went by without seeing someone's face or hearing their voice. It's amazing to imagine how people survived it all. The restrictions. The distances. And the longing. Especially when mental health issues were a myth. We humans most often take things for granted. And count what we don't have. But aren't we blessed to have technology today the way it is? Bringing people closer virtually. © Suranya

THERE ARE NO HEROES AND VILLAINS IN LIFE. EVERYONE IS BOTH. ~ Suranya

HISTORY MEANS TO PRESERVE WHAT ONCE WAS. NOT TO RECREATE IT. ~ Suranya

FEMINISM IS ABOUT EQUALITY, NOT HATING MEN. EQUALITY IS ABOUT SHARING AND PARTNERSHIPS. NOT ABOUT WHOSE PHYSICAL STRENGTH IS GREATER. ~ Suranya

HALF KNOWLEDGE AND FULL OPINION IS  MORE HARMFUL THAN A PANDEMIC. ~ Suranya

UNPOPULAR OPINION, WIKIPEDIA AND GOOGLE ARE NOT HISTORY BOOKS. ~ Suranya

 I often wondered who a Muse is,  How does one soul, Perhaps nonexistent, attract many? Is it a person, or a place, what do I seek? One fine morning opened my eyes,  And perhaps it answered me. Rumi's verse read: "What You Seek Is Seeking You!" And for a moment, my heart made a leap. My journey to look for You  It has been quite taxing,  Painful and rebellious. Let's stop playing hide and seek,  Let's stop pretending to be weak,  I have stopped looking for You,  In every person around me. You make my heart beat miles,  As I pen down Your thoughts.  You never had a face in my imagination,  Just gestures to tell You apart.  I have seen the world in monochrome,  I have now seen reality.  I have stopped looking for You. I know perhaps,  You are just another character in my story! Perhaps the Muse I sought after,  Hoping him to be flesh and blood,  But I know You are too perfect,  To be true in this cru...

 All my ideas keep stacking up  In the trash bin scribbled and torn,  All my days pass whirling by,  In your thoughts, lovelorn.  Woke up in the morning,  Ready to go back to sleep.  Laughed through the day  Ignoring emotions that run deep. Then the night reflects on my soul  Like a mirror of the truth, it beholds  And I know I cannot run,  I cannot hide, can't act stubborn:  One day, I have to stop and turn,  Reflect upon the past and learn;  A passion for love in my heart will be born,  A Love that transcends space and time,  A Love that remains beyond a lifetime.  Ready to write a new story now,  Not one that is full of fake show;  Like a warrior not afraid of scars anymore,  Brave enough that I have travelled so far,  Ready to love this time around. ~ Suranya

The evening sun was as red as vermilion, reflecting upon the white marble of the Taj. Janni sat in prayer, in silence and fear. He stared at her prayer with a faint smile. Today was probably the beginning of a journey to forever. From the moment she dared to lift her veil and stare him in the eyes, Chhatrasal knew something had changed. Hearts transformed. He was leaving for a war, both knew was a lost cause. Yet a hope in their heart refused to go. For as the moon made its way to wipe away the red hues over the white marble, making the Taj shine like a diamond drop, he had held her hand and promised to wait for her on the other side. She had smiled in her tears, promising him the same. The other side was uncertain. Unexplored. Yet, he was not scared. For he knew that there, they were just two souls, beyond name and identity, not a king, princess, religion, caste or creed. They were equal and one. The Almighty didn't judge his children. For their love for each other. It would perha...

 Dear Stranger in my dreams, I have travelled to thoughts extreme, And places I have never been, In search of You. A key in my hand, I struggle to find locks, A lock in sight, I lose the key I have. I know not where to find You So here I am waiting for You To find me. ~ Suranya

 Once in a Universe of parallel time,  Was a human, appreciating the sky. On the tree beside them, chirped a bird; Looking out for prey was a puppy,  Near the water, not very far. From the water, a fish poked their nose out, Thus began a conversation That led to no solution. "I can see the sky  From where I lie,"  Smiled the human,  "In simple shades of blue and white. Perhaps a dusk in pink,  A dawn in red,  Or a yellow flicker of light." "I can see the sky from where I stand" The bird chirped in glee,  "It's a shade of royal purple,  Can't you see?" "My sky is blue and yellow" The puppy woofed,  "Loyal I am, not a liar.  Why can't you see what I see?" "I live in the water, blurred all around," The fish popped in,  "Black and white, with bubbling sounds,  I see no colour in the sky or me,  How can I be the silver you see?  Why do you lie to me that way?  My world isn't what you tell it to be...

It seems like a long time ago that my city was alive and well. Blue buses were plying on the busy roads, and children in uniforms were running down the pavements with bags on their backs. Trees stood tall, and tridents decorated the streets. The office "para" smelled of freshly made tea, cigarettes and momos and the malls were frequented by groups of Aunties, shopping for some festivities. Kumartuli, the artists' paradise of idols. The food courts were filled with the laughter of friends and families meeting over the weekend evenings. The parks witnessed couples in love and quarrels; restaurants buzzed with activities and the aroma of delicacies waiting to be served. Jorasako and Netaji Bhavan stand witness to a glorious past. The traffic snarled, and Park Street was frequented by food lovers. Often on weekends, friends reunite over coffee and drinks to vent out their week-long work pressure. The street markets and hawkers' calls attracted the passerby's attention...

 Here we are in distress Our life is an entangled mess.  With enough problems and scars To last a lifetime, in this farce. Yes, the problems are indeed large.  Too big for your heart or mind to adjust. But not enough to not be kind,  Not be tolerant or united. Understand that others also have issues. Maybe just not in similar lines. Whose problem is greater? Whose life is tougher? Who are we to decide? Your problems can be big enough.  But you can't compare it to others. Let's be compassionate enough,  And promise not to say "My problem is bigger than yours anyway." If "sharing is caring" makes life easier  There is no harm in accepting  Other lives can also be messier! ~ Suranya

 If tomorrow starts without me,  Just let the good memories be. Remember the summer afternoons and ice lollies,  The winter picnic and folly. Autumn in all its colourful glory,  Spring is setting in slowly. Remember the days in the school lanes,  Or the college canteen and guitar strings; That day you smiled at me in a crowd,  Or held my hand without a doubt. But here we are, at a crossroads; My heart and mind are in a mess,  Each day I sink into darkness. Drown in the sea of desires Waves of expectation and dreamy chase,  Consuming me bit by bit in stress. Remember me for the happiest times,  Not the bags under my eyes or sleepless nights. Remember me for my laughter,  Not the pain I unwillingly suffered. ~ Suranya

 I have no home,  No Identity of my own.  No country, no wealth  No place to belong. Just numbers and religion,  Tagged in my being,  My existence in question,  Vague as it may seem. Forced, tortured, uprooted,  Placed in a camp  Displaced and lost,  In life and cause;  No job, no hope No reason to live when old  Questioned and taunted,  Pawn of politics,  I am another Refugee. ~ Suranya

 Cave Paintings, Papyrus, Leaves Stone seals from the Indus, Paper scribbles, wood, ink in a pot, Stories of the Past, present and future, Stories that have been told before. And shall be told yet again. Of Might, Greed, Chivalry and Romance; Love, Lust, Bravery and Treason. Lessons Learnt, Characters dicovered, Cvilisation gone, relics unearthened Yet, every time you repeat a loop, Of Vicious circle of mistakes And nod your head to say, "History repeats itself." ~ Suranya

You look at me like a criminal,  An alienated black sheep in your elite society.  Because of your own prejudice and thoughts. My colour, my sexuality or perhaps my religion Pose a threat to your intolerant heart.  Trapped in my skin, my faith and my orientation. A storm bottles up and brews in me. Oppressed, suppressed and hurt,  Time and again, rejected by you from the start, There are times I say, Enough! I rise as a rebellion in your system,  Your crippled rules end up in chaos.  But soon the storm in me dies down. Tired and screaming in silence  Where none can hear me speak. I go back under your feet,  While you smile in victory,  Sucking the breath out of me,  Oh, I can't breathe! ~SURANYA

"Distances do wonders", they say. You often witness it differently. Here, confined in the house, You barely see them anymore. Every time a sneeze makes you anxious, The fear that looms underneath it is obvious. Every time you feel upset or lonely, You resolve the fights very quickly. What if there isn't a next time? What if you can never hug tight? Unsaid words, scary silences Unsurity, irritation and helplessness; Where do we stand? What does the future hold? So close, yet so far, situations unfold. Distances are a curse, you realise in dismay, When the loneliness is there to stay And you are with them, yet you aren't. It's like a boon and a bane, Lasting for days. ~ Suranya

Hunger lurks in every inch of my body, Hunger hides in your eyes; Yours of greed and power,  Mine for ways to survive. I walk miles hoping to reach home, While you take pleasure In jogging around parks; I am fragile, yet I have to walk on,  You are dieting while working from home. Here I am, child in arm,  Nobody was there to hear my plea. There you are, mask and gloves,  Complaining about the lifestyle you miss. Here we are, class apart, you refusing wages to me;  Aware that I work hard and make things easier,  So that you can live the life you boast of often to society. I die on the road, alone and helpless,  You just post about it, shaking your head in dismay.  The next morning, my blood stains are washed away,  Lest your luxury car gets strained on the way. ~ Suranya

Far beyond the world of reality,   Where technology meets virtuality,   You see them there, hear their voices.   But look around.   You are still alone.   You are still on your own with your feelings.   And on the darkest night   When you need a hug   All you have is a pillow and tears   To sooth you to sleep.   That's what distances do to you.   That's what a pandemic does to you.   You are suddenly so comfortable being alone   That it scares you.   It is okay to be scared.   It is okay.   Things are uncertain.   If there is one lesson you learnt here,   Life never goes as planned.   ~ Suranya

There's a storm outside my window, Gustling, howling, rampaging through the street. There is another in my mind Fighting hard, trying to survive in peace. The gale dies down, as rain floods the lanes Mine pours down, still remains the same. Nobody knows what caused the sky to rebel. Some say it is Hell's angry Devil. Perhaps we know what the mind's unrest is about, It is fearful of the uncertain, without a doubt. Unlike the one outside, free and flying, The storm stuck inside is caged and dying.  ~ Suranya

 The dawn breaks with the cuckoo's cry  The breeze blows away leaves long dried.  In Your grace, the planet survives,  In rejuvenation and newborn sprite. The birds chirp, nestling their chicks.  Somewhere in the silence, a puppy squeaks;  The Earth is healing in our sight  From everything wrong we did for might. To Mother Nature's flowers and trees.  Fired forests and animals forced to flee,  To all the innocent birds and bees  We didn't care enough to see. No honks no smog, no human in sight,  Empty roads and clear skies,  See how tables turn so fast,  All your mighty endeavours barely last. Alone and trapped Mankind shivers,  While You bring relief  To all of Earth's silent givers. ~ Suranya

For every few pairs of heartbeat, I often skip a beat. Separate and unique, The doctor said it is a disorder, But as I lay sleepless in bed, I count the beats, until for every odd one, I lose the rhythm, begin all over again. I often wonder why, my heart doesn't make music Like yours? Why mine is chosen to be this way? I never knew how people skip a beat, Seeing someone they love. I skip beats all the time. Then I found you, In you, I discovered myself, I found my music and understood All my odd beats have been kept away Just for you. ~ Suranya  

Trapped in four walls, You feel an urge to break free  Barriers of brick are all you see. You want to step out  Feel the precious breeze,  And explore the world.  Forbidden to see.  Is it because the heart just wants to rebel? Is it because you know you can't? Trapped in your limitations,  Of knowledge, awareness and traditions,  Of you, me and them, yours and theirs,  Why do you never feel like breaking free? What should and should not be,  Right or wrong, morals and values,  Doesn't your mind ever feel the chains?  That binds it down to the society so insane? Boundaries shroud its path every day  Of politics, caste, creed, and religion;  Patriarchy, misogyny, and perceived notions. Trapped in your comfort zone,  The same routine of expectations,  Living to die, yet not alive,  In shackles of century-old traditions. Why is it that your body feels trapped,  When it is really the mind imprisoned  Ho...

 Life is the teacher as well as the lesson ~ Suranya

My ash will turn into stardust, floating in the universe, watching you from afar, sending you wishes from the shooting star. ~ SURANYA

P ut under house arrest A s death looms by R arely has the world seen A ny of these sights: N ot knowing the future O verwhelmed at the present I nteresting how man-made boundaries A ll perish with them. ~ Suranya

There is a thing I learnt about kids. They teach you as much as you teach them. They basically are a book in themselves. My five year old nephew asks curious questions every now and then like every other kid his age. It so happened that he came up with "Tell me, what is the meaning of life?" I looked up from my book at him, as he stopped colouring the hut he had drawn and repeated his question. "What is the meaning of life?" I smiled and said "Let's see, what is life? Umm... See you breath and your heart beats..." He stopped me with a shake of his head. "No no no. That is life. What is the meaning of it?" I looked at his innocent question in silence. Did he know what he had just said? How profound and deep his question was? Probably not. I just smiled. I had no answers. I guess we are all looking for it. ~ Suranya