History

History is doomed and cursed,

Repeat itself it must!

~ Suranya

Not All Men

Every morning I go for a walk, 

Mothers keep an eye 

If to their children, I dare talk. 

Alert as though I am Danger. 

I am a Man, not a kidnapper.

Every day on my way to office, 

I avoid brushing against you in a crowded bus 

Fearing someday you will turn and accuse, 

Conscious of every move thus, 

But I am a Man, not a groper.

Every time I swipe on Tinder, 

Buy you a drink, I notice the fear 

You hesitate with information

Your suspicious eyes often wonder; 

I am a Man not an abuser.

Every time you walk alone on the road 

And I walk behind you, unaware, 

In the dark empty lanes of the city 

You let me pass, scared; 

But I am a man, not a rapist.

Every day, to office I go, 

As the hours seem really slow, 

I can't stare even in subconscious at you, 

Or have small talks sipping tea, 

Lest you press charges and am sued.

I know those animals, 

I know the threat "Men will be Men"

And all the talks of us being best, 

Stigmas, egos and false manlihood, 

But trust me those are not men, 

Mental, brutal and not like the rest.

~ Suranya

Seeing like a Feminist

 I AM A FEMINIST IN INDIA. 

I FIGHT FOR EQUALITY, 

TYPE "ME TOO" IN PROTEST. 

YET EVERY NIGHT WHEN I RETURN ALONE

I FEAR, MUCH IN DESPAIR, 

LIKE I AM LIVING A NIGHTMARE EVERY DAY.

I AM A DAUGHTER IN INDIA.

THEY SAY I AM THEIR PRIDE. 

YET THAT STRANGER'S DROOLING EYES 

STARING THROUGH MY CLOTHES 

IN A TEARING GAZE 

SEEMS TO MAKE ME FEEL 

LIKE FRESH MEAT INSTEAD.

I AM A GIRL IN INDIA.

YOUR UNCOMFORTABLE TOUCH 

MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A BAG OF DIRT 

YET YOU WHISPER THAT 

IT'S A PLEASANT SECRET. 

WHY DON'T I GET TO TELL 

WHAT IT IS INSTEAD?

I AM A WIFE IN INDIA. 

EVERY DAY I COOK, 

CLEAN AND WORK, 

EVERY NIGHT I WEEP IN SILENCE SCARED, 

ACCEPTING MY FATE ISN'T IN CONSENT

WHILE YOU RAPE ME IN CONVENIENCE.

I AM A MOTHER IN INDIA.

TODAY MY SON HAS RAPED A WOMAN. 

HE DIDN'T SEEM UNNERVED WHILE I WEEP, 

NOT FOR HIM, I DARE TO CLEARLY CONVEY, 

BUT FOR THE DAUGHTER 

THEY DIDN'T LET ME KEEP.

I AM A LADY IN INDIA.

VENGEFULLY OFTEN CALLED SLUTTY FOR MY SKIRT

FUNNY HOW YOU JUDGE ME TO BE A FLIRT. 

THREATEN YOUR MASCULINITY WITH IGNORANCE, 

BECAUSE YOUR IDEA OF ROMANCE IS DOMINANCE.

I AM A WOMAN IN INDIA.

IGO OUT TO WORK AND LEARN, 

JUST LIKE YOU. 

BUT EVERY TIME I WALK OUT OF THAT DOOR, 

ALL THANKS TO YOU, MY PARENTS FEAR, 

I MAY NOT EVEN RETURN ANYMORE.

~ Suranya

Somnumbulism

I opened my eyes, from darkness to light, 

And into a meadow I travel. 

In the middle of nowhere

Where cliffs meet the water, 

And streams take leaps of Faith. 

The beautiful sunshine, 

A house that looks Divine, 

Not sure whether it's all mine.

I look around, perplexed 

For all the doors are locked, 

And keys to them I have not. 

Then, in a gust of wind that blew 

I found a key like a feather 

Afloat upon the wind's gentle flow.

I chase it through the meadows and forest,

I chase it like a madman in jest

Without a thought and without rest

Uphill and downhill beside the stream,

And then U see it free-falling

Into the cliff in between

I jump from the edge of the mountain top

Managed to get my hands on the feather-like top,

The key vanishes in my fist in a moment's pause.

I open my eyes too late and shriek

As from the Somnumbulism I awake,

And find myself falling off the edge of the

The thirteenth-floor balcony's small ledge.

~ Suranya

That Horse in the Merry Go Round

In deadly vicious circles I go. 

Every day in monotony's show: 

Life is as good as this loop,

In between dreams and reality, I snoop 

Upon how even in desperate attempts 

Reigned to the rod, my dreams tempt, 

For me to free away from this chain 

And come back here never again: 

Every day in the same place 

I gallop at a similar pace, 

Repeating the same mistakes, 

My tired heart aches:

You watch me, amazed 

Shiny white, newly painted; 

Poor man, I laugh at the ignorant you, 

For in the wooden horse that you screw.

You reflect your own life through me, 

In a circle of monotony, 

You live a life, just like me, 

Too scared to break free.

~ Suranya

 

Perspective of Hungry Eyes

I roam aimlessly in the scorching sun

Winter rain and snows,

Tattered clothes, dirty hands,

A pair of soles for shoes.

Extending my little palm to you,

Eyes pleading helplessness,

I ask for alms, hungry and hopeless.

I know not where I was born, 

My name or age, or where I belong; 

In the concrete jungles of your wealth 

Alone I wander under the open skies, 

To find help in comforting lies. 

Your eyes avoid me like I am invisible, 

Some stare with suspicion, and others hate, 

Some sympathise with people living this way. 

A penny for you, precious treasure for me 

Leftover waste on your plates 

A hearty meal I seek for me and my mates.

If I ever met your God, 

To whom I see you pray to every day 

With Food and riches, clothes of all kinds, 

While from me you walk away, 

Cringing your nose, cursing in your mind, 

I will surely ask Him why he takes it all, 

Gives me not even a share of the goodies, small. 

And if He actually made any of it this way 

The world and you who runs it anyway.

~ Suranya

Your Place

 Where the wind whispers in my ear 

Where I stand in storms without fear 

In a feeling of you being far yet near 

Protecting me like someone dear.

Sometimes when I cry to sleep 

Not knowing what I shall reap 

What I did to deserve the silent weep 

I question you in bounds and leap. 

And then as memories sweep to the past 

In stories that were not to last 

I know for sure that you held the mast 

Of my boat in the waters flowing fast.

You look over me, in sunset's light 

In winter rains and a starry night.

You protect me with all your might, 

Never leave me out of sight, 

Just as my belief never gives up the fight 

I always have you in my mind's eye.

~  SURANYA

Welcome Winter

 The last leaf the tree holds on to 

The last sign of dear life 

Brown crisp and about to be lost, 

The bare barks in winter cry.

Roads laid down with fallen ones, 

Like a carpet all brown 

Making music under your feet; 

The last one twitches in the breeze.

A sudden gust of wind blows 

Teaching the tree to finally let go 

Of what was never his. 

Slow and delicate, the last sign of fall 

Welcomes winter with a free fall.

~ Suranya

Mix Tape

 The old shoe box, dust settled thick.

Cassettes full of songs,

Random hits from the 90s; 

Untold stories of life and loss, 

Unsaid chapters of my memories.

That song in my head that made me dance, 

With the rain, in whirling romance.

That song with which we connected once. 

Shared smiles, feelings unsaid

Yet not unheard.

Thanks to that one song.

Then that song, that made me sad, 

Or the one that lifted my mood 

Like a child at play.

That song reminds me of college days.

Of old jeans, and nostalgic lanes: 

Of guitars, and cricket, 

Letters and journals 

Love and heartbreak.

Sitting pretty, half broken in my attic today,

Amidst the heaps of cassettes.

I found one unnamed.

Dusting the title with my fingertips, I smiled 

"Playlist of my Life", it read.

~ Suranya

Doobna

अच्छा हुआ हमे तैरना नही आता। आज तेरे इश्क़ की दरिया में डूबने को दिल करता है।

~ Suranya

Stress

 What will I tell them, Dear Heart?

Honestly, I don't know where to start. 

Sleepless nights yet full of dreams. 

Thoughts and music in perfect sync. 

The mind stays alert in signals red,

Promises and flattery are often fake. 

The heart in pain still bled, 

Some wounds never really heal from rest. 

Thoughts that can't be reached, 

Distances that can't be breached.

Between alter egos within; 

Fear and uncertainty lurk there in, 

That often burns the bridges of chances, 

Holding the soul back from a leap of faith; 

And the soul keeps asking questions 

Why do we live with conflicting egos?

While the heart and mind 

Doesn't know how to let go...

~ SURANYA

To Love Again

Has anyone ever escaped your feeling, dear Love?

Even the most nonchalant of souls?

Of your warmth and hurt?

Romance and tragedy?

Pain and gain?

Can anyone ever deny the heartache you cause?

But you are also hopeful like summer rains.

Because fearless after every wound, 

The Martyr rises

Like a phoenix from ashes,

Picking up the thousand broken pieces

Ready to love again.

~ SURANYA

Ishq Hoon

 Kahani hoon, tere lafzon mein utar jaungi,

Sama hoon tere shaam o mein dhal jaungi.

Hawa hoon kahi bhi beh jaungi, 

Tere pyar mein badal banke reh jaungi.

Dil tuta toh shayed tere ishq mein

Baarish banke baras jaungi.

~ SURANYA

Moment

NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DENY, THERE IS ALWAYS A THING CALLED RIGHT TIME AND RIGHT PLACE. AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT, HOW HARD YOU TRY, YOU DON'T BELONG WITH PEOPLE YOU AREN'T DESTINED TO BE WITH. THAT'S THE MAGIC OF CHAOS IN THE UNIVERSE THAT OFTEN MAKES YOU MEET THE RIGHT ONE, WHEN YOU ARE NOT EVEN LOOKING, QUITE UNEXPECTEDLY.

WE DON'T REALLY KNOW WE ARE LIVING IN THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN WE ARE ACHIEVING A DREAM GOAL, FINDING SOMEONE WE WERE LOOKING FOR OR LIVING A DREAM UNTIL THAT MOMENT PASSES BY AND WE RETROSPECT ON IT LATER.

~ SURANYA

Go Back

And if we never meet again,

I wish to go back and begin all over 

Not repeating the mistakes we made.

Let's meet at the sunsets, 

Instead of the sunrises.

Let me embrace your darkness 

Than love your light, 

Just do me a favour and reverse time.

~ Suranya

Attraction

 Sometimes we just hit it off really well with people of the opposite gender. Our thoughts, ideas, ideologies and plans may strike a tune, and eventually we may even feel flattered or flirty with them. It is okay to feel that way about someone. Attractions happen almost instantly, some from the connections of thoughts and some from the first looks of things, mostly by appearance. Very often, we are quick to term this feeling as love. As teenagers, everything seems very easy and naive to us, especially these butterflies in our stomachs. As our crappy Bollywood movie logic feeds us with "Love is friendship." Or "A girl and a boy can never be friends." And even "Once you are attracted, you can't be friends," and "Exs can't be friends", the reality contradicts such stereotypes. Eventually, you realise that "love and friendship are not synonyms. Yes, you need to love your friends and cherish your friendships. You can keep friendships with people you once liked. Or even exs. It's a personal choice. You don't need to be in love with people to care for them." There is a very thin line between the two; people fail to judge. Love, infatuation, attraction and expectations from the wrong places often lead to pain and confusion. Friendship is always where you should find home in a storm, an anchor to your boat. Friendship should be a wise choices that last. Love, as the generation calls it, may or may not. Just because you are single doesn't mean you love your best friend or someone who gave you a shoulder to cry on. When you can do with anybody in that place, it's never love. It's loneliness. Seeking validation. And perhaps wanting care. People often mix up these feelings with the word love. The term love is too deep. Too much emotion and commitment are involved. While the friendships we share should be rare and unique in their own ways. Some get attracted first, then become friends. And some friends mistake their care as love and lose the friendship. It's not wrong to be attracted. It's no crime to want to feel validated. It's the happiness you derive from friendship. Life is too short to crib about wrong choices and broken hearts. It's a journey of happiness and laughter. So every heart out there standing in that thin line between these two feelings, take a small step back. Don't overstep the line until you know your friendship is not that precious enough to lose over feelings that you name love.

~ Suranya

Abhimanyu

The sun rose blood red, as conch shells blew
The thirteenth day had come through.
His eyes shone, like the rays themselves, 
Son of the greatest, a fierce warrior himself
Father to the future he changed the course of war. 
He had entered the vicious circle 
Leaving the others behind by far.
Kins turned enemies, battle against blood, 
Away from his own even, alone, he stood. 
He pulled out the sword, arrow and knife, 
Picked up the wheel, refusing to give up his life.
Seven against one, how great was he? 
Laid down at sunset, lifeless at sixteen.
The darkest night followed, 
Broken rules, cruel killings. 
Blood shook the throne of Dharma, 
Or was it Adharma finally unveiling?
The darkest night is here again, 
To remind us of the thirteenth night, 
How a brave heart fought with honour, 
Against and for the people 
Who weren't just as brave.

~ Suranya

Uttara

I had waited from dawn to dusk 
Prayed for one more day. 
Will you please come back to me?
Just for another stay?
Instead of a murder of demons, 
Blood-soaked and silent, you lay.
You dreamt of a future, 
I have him in my womb.
Only now, he will never know his father 
And you will never guide him. 
Strange how this wheel of Dharma,
That you uplifted every day,
Where is my Justice?
Why am I its prey? 
Led to such a tragic injustice to us 
You left me here stranded 
Almost like a curse.

~ Suranya

Never

Silences once spoke of magic and faith on smiling lips and sparkling eyes in daze; Under the stars we wished upon dreams Mysteries discovered, as deep as the oceans' extreme; Lost in each other, we found a feeling must have been that truth we denied unveiling. And then almost inevitably we parted ways, Togetherness denied by the cruelty of fate; Endings are not always together forever, Soulmates live on, even in nevers.

~ Suranya

Tilottoma

 আমার শহর গ্রীষ্মের দুপুর। রোদ আর কালবৈশাখী।

আমার শহর মেঘলা আকাশ, জলের মাঝে নৌকা ভাসি।

আমার শহর শীতের উষ্ণ চায়ের কাপে চুমুক লাগি।

আমার শহর ঢাক আর গান, আলো, পুজো, প্যান্ডেলে।

আমার শহর ঐতিহ্য জোড়াসাঁকো ও রাজবাড়ী।

আমার শহর প্রেমের কবি, ভিক্টোরিয়া ও ময়দানের ভিড়।

শহর আমার সরোবরের, নিউ মার্কেটের দোকানের হাঁকের।

আলোর শহর, আশার শহর শহর আমার ইতিহাসের।

জাদুঘরের ঘরগুলো যে রোজ সবার মন কারে।

শহর আমার ট্রাম এর সফর, শহর আমার খাদ্য রসিক।

শহর এ যে তোমার আমার সিনেমা ও আর্ট জানে; 

সবার মনে দাগ কাটে আড্ডা, হাসি তর্কে মেতে।

শহর আমার তিলোত্তমা তোমায় আমি ভালোবাসি।

শহর আমার হাতছানি দেয় হাওড়া ব্রিজে গঙ্গা ঘাটে।

যতই দূরে যাও না চলে শহর থেকে স্বপ্নপুরে 

মনটানা এক চেনা সুরে শহর ডাকে পিছুটানে।

~ Suranya

Red

"BRING OUT A PRETTY DRESS, LET'S PAINT THE TOWN RED!" 

"SO IT'S A DATE." SHE DID HER BUN UP IN A MESS.

HE PUT THE SILENCER ON HIS GUN INSTEAD.

~ Suranya

Paper Boat of Love

 This world is an ocean of uncertainty, 

Unknown faces and undiscovered knowledge; 

The paper boat of Love, my only strategy, 

To remain afloat with courage.

~ SURANYA

Kindness

 Kindness is probably an inborn attribute we humans willingly forget. Kindness is not weakness. To be kind is free, and if your act of kindness makes lives better or easier, there is nothing like it. It can be as simple as extending your hand to an old woman crossing the road or teaching the underprivileged, or even just being there to hold someone's hand, listen and sympathise. Life is hard. In this competitive world of constant rat race, we often get too self-centred or egoistic. So much so that even acts of kindness are flaunted and expected to be reciprocated. Often, kind people are misunderstood to be weak. Or acts of kindness as personal interest. This is because more often than not, we humans act to get a reaction. But kindness like love should never be about reciprocation. It is about how happy you are to help others, make them smile or simply be there for someone alone. Kindness nowadays is rare. And selfless kindness, the kind that is not flaunted to the world, is the real act of being kind. Always be kind. It costs nothing. Even your greatest foes and people who talk behind your back deserve your kindness in tough times. Not because they will be grateful to you. Kindness should not be about someone's gratitude. It should be because it makes life a lot easier and enlightens your soul. It makes YOU a better person. Be kind. It's free. 

~ Suranya

Moon Child

The moon seems like my spirit in the universe. Some days I shine through the darkness of self-doubt; some days I am half lost, and on others I am engulfed in the shadow of my own overthinking.

Slowly, I come out of my own darkness. I often reflect on your behaviour toward yourself. But just like the moon, you know only a part of me; the other side, I carefully hide away for no one to see.

©SURANYA

Dreams

It's strange how in my dreams, places I have never been to look familiar. And places I have grown up in seem to grow an extra pair of rooms and secret passages. Like, there is a mystery even in the simplest thing you

That's the beauty of the mind. I became the child I was in my dreams. Eager yet afraid. Scared in my surroundings. Vulnerable to my feelings. I go back to the time I hadn't built a protective wall around my feelings. I keep going back to the same place. Unknown faces look familiar. And I often hide from them. I stealthily walk through a corridor, trying not to get spotted. And I end up standing under the sun in front of a door that has a large lock. I don't have the key. I use my knife in vain. And then people are alarmed. They shout and alert to intruders. I do not understand what they say. I stand fixed in my spot. Then I wake up in fear. Then, a few days later, I am back to the same dome-shaped roof and arched corridors. They have white marble jharokhas and colourful velvet curtains. I don't know what lies inside the locked door. Answer to my questions?

© Suranya

Mind & Universe

THE GREATEST MYSTERY IN THE UNIVERSE IS NOT THE UNIVERSE ITSELF. IT'S YOU. THAT PERSON IN YOUR HEAD AND HEART. DO YOU FEEL THAT AT TIMES? I SIT ALONE WITH A STORY PLOT IN MY HEAD, A JUMBLE OF WORDS IN MY HEART AND THE MAGIC OF IMAGINATION. I CLOSE MY EYES AND THERE I AM. IN THE MOON-LIT FOREST. THE ONLY SONG IS THE WATER FALLING IN THE BHIMLAT. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS SIGHT. BUT I HAVE BEEN THERE. IN MY DAY DREAMS. I STAND AND BREATHE IN THE FRESH AIR. THE WIND PLAYS IN MY HAIR. YOU'D ASK, DO I FEEL LONELY HERE? TELLING THE TALES OF HOW TWO LOVERS USED TO MEET EACH NIGHT IN THESE VERY FORESTS? I PLACE MY HAND ON THE HEART. IT'S BEATING IN RHYTHM WITH MY BREATH. SEE THAT'S THE THING ABOUT SOULS. ONCE YOU DISCOVER YOURSELF, YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER TO VALIDATE YOU. THE KEY TO THE UNIVERSE ALWAYS LIES IN YOURSELF. DON'T YOU THINK?

© Suranya

Jauhar

 "TOMORROW WILL BE A NEW DAWN, OF A NEW HOPE, AND A NEW BEGINNING. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST. BECAUSE TOMORROW, THERE WILL BE NO TOMORROW."

~ Suranya

Replacement

We often believe we are not replaceable. Every human being has this almost self-important trait, like a narcissist, of thinking that they are irreplaceable to somebody or that a situation can't play out without their help or supervision. We often act out or hurt people because of this. Because we feel that no matter how badly we treat them, they will stay. We take them for granted, and as a result of this, people drift away. But a lot changes if we are replaced once. Then it haunts us for a lifetime, I guess. People are scared of how everyone will find a replacement for them once someone replaces them. But they don't even realise that subconsciously, they have also perhaps replaced some people who meant the world to them once. But at times, it is important to replace people and situations you are stuck in without a purpose. To help you grow, bloom or learn. It is important to move ahead in life even if it means moving away. Not everyone fits into the versions of you in the different stages of life. Even the glass slippers fit Cinderella and not everyone else. And no matter how much you force it or others force it, their heart will never fit into yours unless it actually does. And the constant changes all of us go through in life make us change our circles and situations accordingly. That's why maintaining a relationship or friendship actually requires hard work and determination. If you actually need someone in your life, you work towards the connection, or else you find a better replacement for the situation. We are not here to judge if it's right or wrong. But each one of us, at some point in time, has been selfish enough to put ourselves first and replace people, and in the process, perhaps even hurt them. 

~ Suranya

Blessing

 The earth in her thirst to meet the sky, 

Endless, boundless, and high, 

Prayed to the heavens above for miracles.

Thunder roared, and the rain poured 

Unexpected gale stormed my city.

Falling droplets in the street lights 

Like star dust in disguise, 

Blessing the earth with bits of the sky.

~ Suranya

Change

It was summer when you left. The storm had plundered the city; another brewed in my heart. You were the familiar smell and flowers > I was used to. You were those familiar roads, that cafe or the park. That story I had reread too many times. Or that movie I watched enough to say the dialogue alongside. I had promised myself you were the taste of home. I would wait for you to return. Welcome you with open arms.

You came back in autumn. Like those leaves that wither away, feeling useless to the rest of the world. You hoped to find the home you once chose to leave behind. And I had opened the door in anticipation. But your hug felt strange. Your smell wasn't familiar. Your words didn't make my heart race anymore. There was a huge void between us, and the silences were just blank, awkward and weird. I had unknowingly let you go. I have unknowingly adapted to the unfamiliar tastes through time. Danced in the rain alone. Become too comfortable in this unfamiliar feeling of loneliness that most people dread. Perhaps I have changed too much in between the seasons. Or perhaps it is you who has changed. But I know for sure you aren't home anymore. I am. Everything has changed.

Loyalty

Here is a thing about Loyalty. It's a constant and conscious choice you make. Towards people. Relationships. And situations. It is the choice you make when you are on a diet to pick up the apple while a black forest pastry sits staring at you. It's the choice you make when you keep a small promise to someone who trusted you with their secret. And it's the choice you make to wake up every day thinking of only one person you see waking up beside you, or appreciate their effort to make your life easier. Loyalty once lost is a conscious choice, too. It's never a mistake when you choose to be disloyal. And here is the thing. Most of the time, no matter what you say, you won't regret being disloyal. Because by then, the person, relationship or situation is not as important to you anymore.

~ Suranya

Loop

And it just so happened that I chanced upon a purple chariot. But, unlike fairytales, perhaps inspired by our reality, it led me nowhere, and went in a merry loop round and round, to come back to the same place.

SURANYA

Spectator

Will you be a silent spectator 

To all these mundane lives?

Living yet not alive 

Awake yet not awakened; 

They seek You in the afterlife.

Smile at their innocence

Forgive their sins

They know not what they have 

They know not what they seek. 

Work your wonder on their way 

Enlighten them towards light, 

I know they blame 

You for all there isn't 

Ungrateful without reasons. 

But you know my Benevolent One 

They are but a part of You, 

Forgive all that they search outside, 

While they can't see the Truth.

~ Suranya

Yet Another Story

I sometimes feel like getting lost, 

In the world in my mind's eye 

Where my emotions live, and so do you, 

Your name and your memories, 

Let's not tell this dark world 

That story yet to be told.

Those mountains and seas call upon me; 

Don't you also feel like running away someday?

Holding my hand and seeing the world 

Through my eyes?

The colour of the sunflower, 

The greenery of the eucalyptus, 

Standing, witnessing the sea beach, sunset 

Or at the top of some fort 

Imagining what life could be like? 

The world is so big, our story so small.

Somewhere someday, it will be lost 

In the memoirs of the past 

But you and I will live on, 

Through yet another story.

~ Suranya

Secrets

 To Mars and Moon you travel, 

Their secrets you unravel;

Yet the deepest corner of the seas 

Still remains the greatest mystery. 

Just like the way you look around 

Judge people with your mind so sound, 

Yet it never resonates with you

To discover the person within you, 

You perhaps remain your greatest secret, 

And yet you never regret 

To count everyone's mistakes.

© Suranya

Silences

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT WORDS UNSAID, HOPING THEY CAN HEAR YOUR SILENCE?

~ Suranya

Narcissism

 Flaunting my achievements and needs 

I admire my grandeur and skills; 

I care a damn for what others feel.

I pretend to like you more, 

Say the things you want to hear, 

But all I want is to win your heart 

Because you resisted me from the start.

And now that you are here for me 

My challenge to myself was successful. 

I am pleased.

Let me take you for granted and see,

Never bother to show any gratitude for your deeds,

Not letting go of the toxicity, 

I will make sure you feel inferior and suffer from anxiety, 

That's how I make a universe out of me.

© Suranya

Faith

 On the darkest night 

When thoughts fight a battle of no might, 

Wrapped in an embrace 

You hold me tight.

You are a familiar feeling, of home, 

Yet at times suffocating me alive, 

Every day I struggle to survive.

You are yet the muse to my words, 

The only companion through life;

I find you in songs, 

And everywhere around, 

Failed relationships, toxic people, broken hearts, 

But do you know why I hold you so dear?

Love you like one very near? 

Because you choose to stay 

In your own little way 

While everyone else just 

Drifts away.

~ Suranya

Rain of Emotions

 For the thousands of words unsaid, 

Infinite emotions unheard 

Between you and me; 

Letters too heavy to float 

In the cosmos invisible 

Often come down as rain, 

Drenching us in the same feeling 

We are never brave enough to face.

©Suranya

Choice

I have had sleepless nights. Bags under my eyes. A trance between dreams and reality. What I have and what I want. I would snooze the alarm a hundred times.

I leave scribblings all over the place. Notebooks. Laptop. Random pages. I leave stories unfinished. I look for musing. Someone I can compare to all the greatness in the world. Did I ever tell you I muse on things I generally don't like? Like the ocean and mountains. They help me stay unpredictable. I leave behind a story everywhere I go. But I am not good with the ending. Because I am not good with goodbyes. I hate to leave behind a character. I imagine what happened beyond their happily ever after. I often write them down. But never share them. Because you choose your own endings. Happy or otherwise.

~ Suranya

Goodbye

 Goodbyes are hard, they say. 

Yet every time I bid adieu, 

My heart just whispered, 

"One more time."

And every time I watch someone leave, 

The hope in my heart is ignited 

That someday, they will make their way 

Back to my lane, and never leave.

Because that's what dreams are made of, 

A little bit of hope, a little trust, 

A part of me and you, 

And the Love that runs this Universe.

© Suranya

Blur

The Moon looks like a big spotlight,

Fairy Lights like fireflies,

The street lights lost in focus,

Everything around me looks blurred.

Searching frantically, what for you ask?

No, Not Love, that's such a hard task

Finding my glasses, the vision cleared.

© Suranya

Alone

WHERE THE ROAD ENDS,

WHERE THE HEART STOPS. 

YOU TURN AROUND TO SEE 

A SEA OF PEOPLE LEFT BEHIND 

KNOWN FACES, UNKNOWN STORIES, 

AND YOU STAND ALONE 

ON THE OTHER SIDE, 

MUCH LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THAT CROWD.

~ Suranya

Walls Have Ears

IF WALLS COULD SPEAK, YOU WILL PERHAPS HEAR TALES, DIFFERENT FROM HISTORY.

SURANYA

Their Fate

 Jasmine and roses abloom, 

Moonlight on the marble floor of the room, 

Every night in the darkest hours 

Under the veil of stars, 

Her eyes shone with pearl drops 

Cheeks like stars.

Stardust made magic and moonbeam ripples, 

On the water of the Yamuna below the fortress.

It was then that the gust of wind 

Brought with it a familiar touch 

Someone whispered to her from afar, 

As if she never belonged here. 

Struggling between the cups of wine 

She dared to remember him as divine, 

One who embraced death for her fame, 

Alas! She could never embrace his name.

© Suranya

Trust Issues

You once BEGGED someone who was never there to stay. Now you don't ASK people who will.

~ Suranya

Crimson

 The Shore hid treasures of shells, 

Like a man with secrets, 

Calm, quiet, with intent, 

Appearing like an unsolved puzzle to the Sea.

In the distance, the hues of the setting sun 

In the vast, endless Sky, 

Spread light across the world.

The rays touching the Sea gently, 

As the Sky watched her dance, 

Kissing her waves are blood red.

The red was perhaps a pinch of vermilion, 

The Sky painted the Sea with. 

He made her a reflection of him, 

From the blues to the darkness;

Days and nights, the unaware Sea reflected in his colour, 

While she had tried all her life in vain 

To meet the mysterious shores 

Perhaps impress him with her pearls.

The Sky met the Sea silently, in all his vastness, 

Claiming her as his, reflecting his strength and flaws on her, 

As the lovelorn Sea, tired of chasing the shores, 

That paid no heed to her turbulent waves, 

Finally looked up and saw the Sky.

Accepting the unrequited love in his existence 

And finally accepted him with love.

So, every day at dawn and dusk, 

The Sea met the Sky in colours of scarlet, 

In union, love and promises, 

Giving us the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

© Suranya

Rejected

Every day I leave my heart at your Doorstep.

Every night, I gather its broken pieces from your Trashbin.

~ SURANYA

Anxiety

 Have you ever just waited and waited, 

Upon hope and miracles, extreme.

While words scar you instead of heal 

Making you feel rather unreal?

When was the last time you asked someone,

Or has anyone ever asked you once,

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

After your biggest failure or shattered dream 

Dreadful heartbreak or scariest sin; 

A simple question, 

That could perhaps save a life, 

From reaching the brink.

~ SURANYA

Yuvraj

 "What are super heroes?"

"Ones who can die to get the job done."

"Have you seen any?"

"No."

AUR PHIR AYA YUVRAJ SINGH!

~ Suranya

World Cup

World Cups bring about a lot of nostalgia. Every time that anthem plays, with the Jersey, faces of players, and the national flag in slow motion and the crowd at the ground echoes with "Jai Jai Jai Jai Hey", the heart is overwhelmed. You feel goosebumps. I remember our school days when the canteen kaka had a radio set in his pocket. And after every class got over, someone from our class used to ask, "Score koto?" Times changed from "Sachin hai kya?" To "Yuvi Mahi hai kya?" And from counting Sachin's 100s to Kohli's. Back then, when most houses didn't have colour TVs and cables, there used to be this huge crowd outside every TV shop, cheering and shouting no less than the crowd at the ground itself. Some passersby would go around and ask, "Who is playing?" If the match was a nailbiter, this poor soul was often unanswered or rebuked. But changes are inevitable. Changes are good. From having strong batting line-ups to stronger bowling line-ups, we have changed for good. Today I watch my nephew ask me the same questions about the game that I once asked as a kid. Only now I have the answers. From "India hai last ball tak kuch bhi ho sakta hai," we have happily moved to "Mahi hai kuch bhi ho sakta hai." The game has taught us to hope. To cheer team efforts. And sportsman spirit. And every four years, it gives me a gentle reminder that some things don't change. Every time I see that crowd outside a TV showroom, fewer in number, yes, but still equally enthusiastic; or someone in a school dress asks someone the score a little worried, or every time my heart races when Mahi hits the ball up in the air or Virat swings it to the keeper, I know some things don't change. They just take you down memory lane and make you relive your carefree days again.

~ SURANYA

Stop It!

Too dark. Use fairness creams.

Too pale. Are you anaemic?

Too fat. Stop eating.

Too skinny. Feed her something.

Four-eyed Battery. How many fingers do you see?

Short hair, grow it long and be girly.

Tomboys. Are you a lesbian?

Body hair. Why don't you shave it up?

Acne marks. Use beauty filters.

So tall. Where will you get a groom?

Too short. You look like you haven't grown.

That Lipstick shade is not for her.

The dress doesn't fit.

She looks slutty, expects to be a hotty!

Such a nerd, clothes absurd!

You will tell me everything now, even why I exist?!

~ SURANYA

Key to My Heart

I GAVE YOU THE KEY TO MY HEART. BUT YOU JUST WALKED AWAY CARELESSLY ONE DAY, WITHOUT LOCKING IT SAFELY. IT WAS PLUNDERED IN YOUR ABSENCE. NOW, SOMEONE ELSE HAS MADE IT A HOME INSTEAD. DON'T COME BACK BECAUSE THEY HAVE CHANGED THE LOCK AS WELL.

~ Suranya

Spirit Animal

 Slow and steady hidden from gaze

I meander like a river across the graze; 

Twist and turn until I reach my destination

Why are you so scared of my mention?

Swift and stealthy, my eyes shine 

Like precious stones from a mine.

I raise my hood, 

Looking for danger in the wood, 

Not crossing your way 

Unless on my way you stood. 

What scares you? I know not.

For my poison doesn't kill my own 

I shed and change like your mind does; 

But my skin, not in your ways, 

My skin is new but I remain the same 

Unlike you who changes everyday.

© Suranya

Precious

I meet you every time, leaving a part of me behind, just for you. Every time we separate, with each crashing wave. A shell or two, Precious pearl from the blue; You in turn hide my gift carefully Beneath the calm of your sand.

~ Suranya

Uprooted

 In a hundred years, the city has changed 

People, climate, concrete jungles 

I witnessed it all in silence; 

The flowers died in people's laughter, 

The animals were lost in the crowd's clusters.

Until today, I stood proud 

But the gust has now uprooted me.

The birds and bees escaped on time, 

As all of me came crashing down.

People gasped, the rain lashed; 

All my fruits went scattering about.

A single root stays grounded still, 

I smile at nature's wrath in disbelief.

Kind she is, giver of life 

And yet she destroys, 

Takes away a thousand lives.

Light dawned on me as I saw, 

Many more are struggling with the storm.

"Alive I am! And breathing still, 

The storm can do no more harm to me.

© Suranya

Falsehood

 Drowning in the ocean of validations, 

Skin, beauty, and smiles, 

Selfies and mandatory posts, 

That gets you more likes. 

Somewhere in the struggle, 

To keep afloat

 In the strong waves of appreciation, 

Undercurrent of competition, 

Talent, skill and truth 

Are lost in judgment, 

As you drown more and more 

To make-believe admiration.

~ Suranya

Autumn

 Fallen leaves, in shades of brown 

Yellow ones are drizzling down 

Painting the road in colours

I spread my arms; smile on my own, 

Golden petals from heavens above 

Raining blessings on my heart.

Twirling around in a merry dance, 

Crunching and munching against my shoes, 

Heaps of dried leaves, 

Makes music that soothes.

~ Suranya

Wait

 I sit in a corner of the street, 

My beard messy, and nails unclean, 

Clothes torn, like a costume from Halloween.

Their eyes scared, follow me all day, 

"Careful, a madman." They'd say. 

The innocent faces stare at me, being led away 

Some are kind enough to offer a treat, 

Others pretend I don't exist; 

It's been months and years since that day, 

I know not how many have passed in wait, 

Since they left me here, saying, 

"We will come back soon, just stay."

© Suranya

Solitude

Only the moon knows and stars witness the secrets of your heart that often bleed as teardrops hidden from the world, in the darkness of solitude.

~ Suranya

Mother's Day

 The breeze in the summer noon 

Memories, almost like a boon 

Smiling at them on the lawn, 

Her little man in a crispy shirt, 

Her princess in a dancing frock.

Days like that were long gone.

They had moved on chasing dreams, 

As she stood there in anticipation, 

Home was now just for vacations. 

"Once in a while, come back to me."

Her voicemails remained unanswered.

Irony how unlike everyday 

A message was sent on WhatsApp.

"Happy Mother's Day"

A picture uploaded for likes and hearts, 

But where was the love she once felt in their hugs?

~ Suranya

Growth

Look back at the road we travelled. Started small and full of doubts, your love makes it all worth the journey and from the seed we are a sprout.

~ Suranya

Masterpiece

 Fingertips traced slowly 

On your face in afterglow; 

Your curves and smile, 

Freckles and neckline, 

I stare at your eyes in awe, 

Yours is full of passion, raw.

You complain I don't compliment,

I smile, lighting the cigarette

As the wrinkles on our bedsheet

Form a Masterpiece in itself.

Adding colours to my canvas,

I make Art out of us.

© Suranya

Sunsets

 Sunsets bring the universe closer to us, 

Removing the blue illusion of the day. 

Sunsets give the moon some spotlight, 

With a million stars twinkling away.

Darkness descending after light, 

Just like evil balances the good, 

The rule of the Universe is upheld.

I have a thing for sunsets, you know?

When the red hue reflects upon the sky, 

Like a canvas carelessly caressed with a brush, 

It scatters in all directions like red watercolour, 

Accidentally spilt on nature's picture, 

On the water and the mountain peaks.

I sat through many of them. 

Alone, in a crowd, silent and in conversation.

On the ruins of a fort, atop a mountain road,

On a boat afloat a lake, and the river sides.

Each time, each sunset, gives me stories, 

Of embracing new beginnings or 

Of everything coming to an end someday, 

An apocalypse called Life.

© Suranya

Deepest Secret

 Are your emotions in drought 

Or your sadness a doubt? 

For you want to cry aloud 

At something you are unsettled about. 

And not a teardrop falls on your cheeks, 

Making you question your feelings, 

Perhaps deny their unveiling 

Scared to once again fall apart, 

You keep the secrets in your heart.

~ Suranya

Mask

She sat down on the floor. She didn't need to pretend and wear that mask of an independent and strong person within the walls of her own room. The barriers of grace, dignity and judgement could be broken. Here, alone, she was just his, praying every moment of her life to hear him arrive and his voice call her name. Here she was his, waiting to be taken home.

~ Suranya

Loss

 It rained the day you came 

Into my life like a storm, 

It rained the day you left 

Without a goodbye. 

In between them was 

Days of sunshine and warmth.

I was fine before you came, 

I will be fine now that you've left. 

In between them, like the clouds, 

I lost a bit of me 

Trying to hold on to a part of you.

© Suranya

Writer's Block

 Sheets of paper, scattered thoughts, 

Crumbled pages and ink blots, 

Blankly, I stare at the walls that surround me, 

Looking for some inspiration around 

The whirling fan, the swaying bulb, 

The water bottle or the mango pulp, 

Anything that gives my mind a ripple, 

Allows me to muse or scribble.

But the blank pages look back at me in shock 

Here I am again, in a writer's block.

~ Suranya

Enough

 "Why wasn't I enough?"

"Oh, you are. Can't you see?

You just didn't fit their missing piece the way they wanted you to. But look at it this way, they couldn't complete your picture either. Maybe because you are an entire universe in yourself. You are complete. You are whole. The day you realise it, they will know you are more than enough."

~ Suranya

Parched

 The summer soil waited for the rain. 

She kept a vigil on the chariot of clouds, 

Ready to welcome him again.

Her body untouched since he left, 

Longing for his wet kisses 

Drenching her drop by drop 

In ecstasy of union.

At last he came, 

Like a sudden gale across the sky.

The Sun closed his eyes, 

As did the stars and moon; 

As the parched Earth found love again.

© Suranya

Soul Search

Have you ever felt the need to stand somewhere, like a seaside or a cliff and look around as your soul searches for meaning? Perhaps with friends or family, but still, there is this thirst in the soul to know itself. The solitary pleasure of nature. Then again, the words in the heart and mind conflict in a way that confuses the soul.

Maybe someday, when our hearts and minds can be in sync, we will know our purposes. And stop looking for love around us. Look for it in as. We all have so much to give, but still, we need more. Maybe because of the conflict of a profit-seeking mind with our selfless hearts. Maybe someday we will reach a zenith where the soul will find the right questions and eventually get all the answers from the universe. Do you feel so too?

© Suranya

Unchained

 O Night, your wand in a magic spell, 

Remove all pain from my trail, 

In the moonlight, this Fakira walks, 

Towards the heavens and skywards. 

O Divine Light, constellations far,

Show this mortal an illuminated path, 

Let my soul face Judgement Day, 

And finally O finally, free away.

~ Suranya

Pole Star

 You are perhaps a shooting star 

Flying across the night sky, 

One treats you as an ill omen, 

While others wish on hope.

You have long gone, 

Just visible as an illusion to the eyes, 

You were always a falling star, 

I mistook you for my pole star instead.

~ Suranya

Broken

"The walls have grown thicker. Higher and higher the fortress rose. Built carefully, brick by brick. With tears, agony, fear and shattered pieces of the broken heart."

~ Suranya

Return

 YOU ARE LIKE AN OBJECT IN MY REAR VIEW MIRROR.

ALWAYS CLOSER THAN YOU APPEAR.

MY HEART IS YOUR EMPTY HOME, 

AND YOU ARE THE WANDERER 

WHOSE RETURN IT AWAITS.

~ SURANYA

Escape

 Hold my hand and let's escape

To where forever is not a myth 

And love reigns true.

Where your eyes meet mine 

And my hands tighten around yours, 

You look at me like I'm your world, 

I smile at you like you are my universe, 

And we are truly happy, being ourselves, 

No faking, no impressing, no gifts or flaunting 

No apologies or formalities, gestures or expressions 

Just you, me, nature, and silence 

Getting lost in the sunset.

~ Suranya

way

LOST MY WAY LOOKING FOR YOU. FOUND MYSELF INSTEAD.

~ SURANYA

Your Way

 Starry sky, moonlight 

Intoxicated, the tears flow free 

Every night I feel you near me. 

It is not the end yet, 

Even if our paths are separate, 

Hope of love still keeps me awake; 

For what is meant to be, 

Always finds its way.

~ Suranya

What Home Looks Like

The smell of good food, and your laughter, 

Fresh flowers, wind chimes and music. 

Endless nights star gazing under a blanket 

Sharing stories, everything and nothing. 

The warm heater, pictures on the wall, 

Grocery list on the fridge. 

Fighting over the wet towels

Your hair in the sink.

Is this what home looks like?

Perhaps it does...

Every time I return to the cold apartment

And turn my keys, realising you left,

I miss belonging somewhere. 

Lost. Helpless. 

And once again, here I stand, 

Homeless.

~ Suranya

Prophecy

Have you ever not been able to sleep 

Even when your eyes were heavy?

Did a voice ever scream in your head, 

Every time you fell into a slumber?

Did a dream turn into a nightmare, 

And ache your heart leaving you in tears?

Have you ever wished upon stars?

Prayed for the impossible?

Daydreamt of things never to be?

Made others a priority and lost yourself?

Seen people drift away

Till you can't remember their faces?

Or how their voices sounded?

Craved for love? Craved to belong?

To call someone home?

~ Suranya

Leap of Faith

 Standing on the cliff of dreams, 

I fold my hand, as my eyes shine 

As if your fingers are entwined in mine, 

I whisper your name almost like a prayer. 

My cheeks glow in a warm debonair; 

I wish upon the falling stars, 

Offering myself with all my scars; 

That you be mine as I am yours, 

See my world as it endures; 

Believe the love that I can give, 

Hold my hand, and happily live 

Give me your flaws, and let love be, 

Taking the leap of faith for me.

~ Suranya

Brownie

He followed her around stealthily,

Almost like chasing her shadow,

Ignoring her warning glances;

At last she smiled turning to him,

His innocent eyes in joy, beamed.

"Stay" she ordered, putting the plate down, 

Thanking his hooman with a woof, 

He savoured, wagging at his favourite food.

~ Suranya 

Truth

Standing at crossroads of choices often, 

I forget the last time I didn't try 

To make my truth a blatant lie. 

And perhaps at other times, 

To make my lies convincingly true, 

To make liking me easier for you. 

I have lost my veracity perhaps 

Trapped in this world of desires; 

Never regretting every white lie I used, 

To manipulate my way back to you. 

All of me you never knew, 

And you never had a clue 

You were just a pawn, 

In my experiments with truth.

~ Suranya

Hidden

 There she goes with a smile 

Ready to face the world in style. 

Her sparkling eyes oozing confidence, 

Her words make so much sense. 

The sun shines, heaping praises. 

On how high on the ladder she rises. 

But the moon knows her secrets well 

Every night, when he meets her 

Alone and away from the world, 

Her mask is lifted off her face 

And he finds her on the edge; 

Another day done and dusted, 

She has managed to survive with grace.

~ Suranya

Porcelain

It was a day like this, 

You remember giving me 

That bubble-wrapped gift?

One of those showpieces, 

A dancing girl, free-spirited and dreamy.

You said she reminded you of me. 

Strange, how you hate me now 

For those exact same reasons. 

Stranger, how a showpiece remained 

In the most careless edge of my shelf 

While you became a memory. 

Perhaps because, 

Emotions are more fragile 

Than porcelain.

~ SURANYA