From The Quill

"I was never someone's first love. I never knew how it felt to be looked at with unadulterated eyes like you define a feeling for them." She eyed him with a faint smile, watching him frown. She sounded upset. "Why is it so important?" He enquired. "Isn't the goal to be someone's last?" "Because I know what it feels like to be in love the first time." She stared at the horizon and back at him. "You mean the silly mistakes and lessons?" He was amused. "No, that's a crush you think you are in love with." She corrected. He still looked confused. "I mean the one that defines your faith in love. The one which remains beautiful even in ruins." A sudden hollow feeling crept into her being, eating at her soul; she wanted to shrug off the heaviness in her heart. She inhaled as if to fill the hollow with air. "The one whom you could never badmouth, even when your heart was shattered?" He was curious. ...

A little boy on the street  Working for the day's breadstick  Being told by soldiers to bow  As the general passes by  On his high horse.  "I bet he is freer  Than I ever will be.  The boy imagines a fate  That one day he would be lord of the castle.  A general leading an army to war  People bowing and obeying his orders. The general knelt before the king,  Owning up to the loss in his name.  The king rebuked and penalised In front of an entire court that scrutinised. "I bet he is freer than me  Nobody to answer to, he does as he pleases. The general grunted under his teeth  As the king ordered him to retreat. The king was received by advisors in his chamber. "You must not step out. Your life is in danger." "Not even to the lawn? The balcony?" "No, sir, you must stay away from the cacophony  Of rebels and criminals." The king moved from room to room  The castle he built became his prison. He prayed before th...

 Why does sleep not come to the restless soul? Why does it hide from sight? Like a glimpse of your love? Why do nightmares haunt my daydreams? Why does life look like nothing but extreme As I look back at all that is lost? The string that once tugged at my heart, Pulling us near and apart, I was too weak to hold on anymore. The pearls scattered across the floor, As I broke free from what hurt, Your presence in my story Stung my soul like a poisonous ivy, In a garden of tulips and roses. Yet on nights like these, When it rains, the way it rained tonight, Drenching our souls in plight, Quenching our thirst for desires long lost, Will I be too shallow to admit, In the deepest corner of my broken heart, That I miss your presence Like a page missing from a book? Why am I writing at midnight? Awake, alert and sleepless Why am I scared of my thoughts? Why does our story not end? Even when it never began in the first place? Why does the chapter keep coming back In haunting memories of past...

Remember when we were kids and we thought that 20s were grown-up years, to be moms and wives, because we saw that around us, and we thought people in their 30s had things sorted. They worked, had enough savings to start families and think about investments, cars and homes. Today, in my 30s, I realise I am as clueless about life as I was when I was 15. Yes, I have been forced to "adult" by experiences I never chose to have, traumas I never imagined and mental and physical health issues I once attributed to old people, but am I truly ready to be responsible if I had a choice? We are all forced into our paths of career, choices and decisions as adults more than we ever intend to. The sleepless nights we once spent thinking about our life goals are now stressed with investment issues, parents getting older, people around us leaving all the time for various reasons and our innermost insecurities. We realise that life is not as meaningful or purposeful as we thought it to be. We re...