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Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Ojibwe

 Log Puchte Hai Mujhse, Kyun Ishq Hai Tujhse

Na Dekha Tujhe Na Jaana, Toh Kaise Har Tabeer Mein Hai Tu?

Log Kehte Hai, Maat Kar Aisi Nadaniyaan.

Unhe Kya Pata Tere Ishq Ka Nasha, Chadta Hai Toh Utarta Nahi.

Jaise Kesariya Ho Tilak Ka, Ya Rang Chadha Ho Mehendi Ka

Iss Nasamajh Dunia Ko Dekh Ke, Yooh Hi Muskura Lete Hai Hum.

Ye Zaalim Duniya Kya Jaane Ishq Karna,

Ishq Toh Tu Hai, Jiska Wajood Mere Nas Nas Mein Aise Basa

Jaise Phoolon Mein Titliyaan.

Wasl Tere Ishq Ka, Mannat Tere Preet Ka

Kahi Mere Dil Ko, Fakira Na Bana De.

Tujhe Paane Ke Liye Har Din

Dheere Dheere Khud Ko Kho Deti Hoon Main.

Jab Har Din Sanjh Dhalti Hai, Kahi Uss Andhere Mein

Tujhe Paas Mehsoos Karti Hoon Main.

Shayed Duniya Ke Liye Teri Koi Wajood Nahi

Par Mere Ishq Ka Rab Hai Tu.

Aur Rab Ko Paane Ke Liye, Unhe Chahne Ke Liye

Kabhi Kisi Fakira Ko Dekha Hai

Insaano Mein Unhe Dhundte Huye?

~ Suranya



Monday, February 26, 2018

Picture on the Wall

 "Will I ever find love? Be brave enough to hold on to it?"

Her tears gave way to heartache. She had lost her heart to someone she shouldn't have. "What will the picture of a Chauhan Prince do in a Mughal Princess's room?" The words from his letter resonated in her ears in his voice. She never knew that he hadn't written that to her. Neither did her pleas reach him. She was tired. Tired of running from her feelings and emotions. Tired of being the perfect, composed, inspirational figure everyone looked up to. Tired of being only a princess. She wanted to be HIS princess. 

But there he was, thousands of miles away in Bundi. Perhaps the news of her accident and recovery never reached him. Neither did her pain nor love. There he was, with his wife and children. Why would he remember her? The mere existence of her in his life was perhaps about the politics of the land. She didn't care about that. Her heart ached every time he was home. His home. His family. He had it all. Things she has ever wanted in life. She felt hollow from the very being. 

The king was admiring his Chitrasal. The hall of wall paintings was freshly painted by the artists he had called specially from the Deccan. In the lamp of the silent night, he tiptoed towards a particular pillar. The room was filled with figures. Gods, dancers, royals, scenes of life and epics. But that particular pillar was exactly why he came here every night. He lowered the lamp above his head to somewhere close to his chest level. There was a frame on one face of the pillar that faced the wall. On the frame was a pillar of a Mughal princess. Clad in muslin, she held a peaceful dove in her hand instead of swords or wine. Her eyes, her deep brown eyes. In a flash, he had travelled back to Agra. Her eyes twinkled as soon as he mentioned going home. The Chauhan Prince sighed. As though to shake off the heaviness from his heart. In vain. She was beyond his reach. Beyond everything he had or wanted. Yet, he had a dream. A dream he carried in the deepest corner of his heart. The dream that brought him here every night. She was home. The home he had ever wanted. The home he could never have. 

Years turn to decades and eras. People come and go. Their stories disappear. They only leave behind wars and monuments. Or perhaps, rarely, a cluster of words in a book. They had done it all. Yet no one told their story. No one read their tale. No one knew what their hearts lived and died for. It is then that once you visit the Chitrasal of Taragarh, perhaps one of the pillars whispers to you, an unknown tale. Of love. Romance. Chivalry. Separation. Sacrifice. And Eternity. Listen to the bricks carefully, and perhaps your heart too will ache with the love that knew no boundaries.

~ Suranya

Saturday, February 24, 2018

If my Imagination was Human

Every night in the darkness and silences and my own heavy breathing and beating of the heart fast and faster, I find you. The lights burn far away in the sky, their shine fails to reach me. I close my eyes. And I see your silhouette there. Why don't you show your face? I wonder, never aloud. I hear you speak. Of love, dreams and spirituality. Among other things. You tell me tales. Some I listen to and keep with me. Others I jot down to tell the world. You smile like I want you to. Your happiness reaches those deep brown eyes. And you smell like coffee and freshly plucked sunflowers. You talk of her. And when you do, your eyes shine like pebbles in the darkness. You talk of your story. Then, somewhere between the trances of dream and reality, I lose you. Slowly, then all at once. And I wake up to sunshine and pieces of notes spread across my floor. I gather them and start writing your story. In my words.

~ Suranya

Friday, February 23, 2018

Pratap

 Har balidaan ka ek bohot bada uddesh hota hai, 

Jo hum aur aap kabhi samajh nahi paenge. 

Shayed Panna Dhai, Rani Karnavati, 

Meera Bai aur Jaivanta Bai ke balidaan ke peeche, 

Unn hazaro stree o ke Jauhar o ke peeche, 

Uddesh tha ek avatar ke janam ki, 

Ek Suraj ke roshni ki... Uske Pratap ke chaaro or phelne ki.

~ Suranya



Dark Night

Some days give you a strange feeling. An emptiness. A sense of being absolutely cowardly towards life. It makes you ponder how small and insignificant your problems are. They always have been. Money, love, fame, success. That's all we know in life. With a pinch of selfishness. Greed. And lust. But is that it?

450 years ago, on this very night, Chittorgarh was in celebration. What were they celebrating? Their last day on earth. I must be joking, right? Well, I'm not.

I once read a poem by Abu Talib Karim that said: The way of the world is not worth seeing a second time, not a man looked back when he left this heap of dust."

But I still wonder. What about those who still had so much to see? That new bride who took the sword in her Alta-clad hands, the princess who perhaps dreamt of a prince. Those children were clueless.

A leap of faith. A battle for blood. Of honour. And bravery. The Fire God engulfs it all. The human of flesh, blood and bones. What about the soul? The unnamed immortal soul? Did it travel through time, take birth again to end their unfulfilled stories? Or they still live at the very spot the story ended. They roam and they bless. They protect everyone who has ever shed a tear, standing there looking at the soot-filled walls of history. Do you also feel a goosebump there every time the wind blows and whispers at you? Can you, too, perhaps hear them speak?

Did history honour them? Remember their names? Not all of them were that lucky. Mostly, history forgets its women. Because they were mothers, sisters and wives of their Kings. I don't want to forget them. I don't want you to forget them.

So I sit alone. In the darkness of the night. With a light burning just like my soul. And I take my own pen as my sword. My power to spread a word. Of bravery and sacrifice. I write. And I promise in silence to the Muse. I won't let anyone forget them. Ever.

~ Suranya

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Bride

 Jiwa was the luckiest bride. Or so her friends had said. She was getting married to the bravest of the brave. The chief warrior of Chittorgarh. Patta Singh Sisodia was indeed so at seventeen. She had caught a glimpse of him from behind her veil as she blushed to herself in between the ceremonies. The wedding night was an anticipated one for the new bride. And there she was sitting among her friends and relatives who teased her endlessly. Then, there was a thundering noise that shook Chittorgarh. There was a commotion at one of the gates of the fort. People were running about. She was left alone by the ladies who went to check on the development, worried. All she could hear was "Coward... bombardment... Wall... War" and she had immediately got up and reached for her sword in a reflex.

Some of the ladies gasped at the new bride as she made her way out to the corridor. Sword in hand, she stood at the door, her face still in the veil as she asked to no one in particular, "Did they attack?"

"Not yet. But maybe at dawn. " She turned at his voice. He stood there, his sword exposed like hers. Their first conversation. Was it supposed to be like this? She couldn't care less now.

"We should get the ladies and children to safety." She told him. Patta was for a moment blank as he stared at her and noticed the sword in her hand and the rage in her eyes. He managed a nod and ordered the nearest soldier to take the families to safety.

"Can I... Come with you?" Her words made Patta stare at her with half a smile. She was ready for a battle.

"Not yet." She frowned at his words.

He gestured at her sword and said, "You have to wait till the Bidai comes with me, Baisa. Until then, I think you can hold the fort here with that if needed. I will see that the children are safe." She smiled, blushing as she watched him go.

~ Suranya

Sand Castle

I am not a sea person. So every time someone planned a vacation to the seaside, I sulked. My memories of the place were back when I was 5, with a twig in one hand and a plastic mug in another, trying in vain to make a sand castle, and getting impatient. After several tries, when the castle finally stood and I smiled in glee at the appreciation from the adults around, a big wave washed it away. I had cried while my family had a hearty laugh at my attachment to small things. I had imagined that castle to be like the one I dreamt of when I read fairytales. After two decades, I was standing at the same spot, like nothing had changed. I was still attached to small things. Cried over losing them as much as I did for people. And there I saw a little girl in my spot. She was making a castle, and the wave suddenly washed it away. She didn't cry. Instead, she picked up the spade and bucket and walked a little further away, where the waves were yet to reach. She started making a new one with equal enthusiasm. I smiled in realisation. Sometimes, some things are meant to go. So that new beginnings fill their places. People, places, memories, dreams, hopes, aspirations, all that is lost are for a reason. So that new ones fill in their places and help you grow. That sand castle was like a broken dream. It was of no use crying over what was broken. It wouldn't come back. But there is always hope in the heart. And that's how we always find our new dreams.

© Suranya



Sunday, February 18, 2018

You

 In the darkness of the night, 

I travel through time, 

And meet you at Eternity. 

I walk across the mountains, 

Of the Abode you call home. 

I explore. I live. I love. 

I liberate my soul of a thousand emotions.

At dawn I wake, 

With a smile on my lips. 

And tears in my eyes. 

You save me. 

Every time I fall 

You enlighten me 

When darkness engulfs. 

You make me live,

With every breath. 

You are in everything and nothing. 

Yet they seek you in Temples and idols.

But you are in Nature. 

The Soul is Your Shrine. 

You are Love, and the Lover.

God and Devotee.

Science and Belief.

You are them. 

You are Me.

© Suranya



Thursday, February 15, 2018

Answers

He had done what he hadn't done ever in his life. Dropped straight at her house and proposed marriage. Pratap was not very optimistic when it came to love. Yet, he had taken a chance. The moment he had seen the best friend of the sister of the bride at the engagement ceremony, he had walked up to her to strike up a conversation. Ajabdeh Punwar was an awkward soul. She talked of things beyond his understanding. And that is why he found her magical. A mystery that will perhaps take a lifetime to solve. He had the longest conversation with a girl since his last relationship. He listened to her as her eyes sparkled like the universe was hidden inside her with all its mysteries. He had done the most impulsive thing ever. Dropped her off at her house. And when her parents were at the door, he had proposed a wedding. It was inevitable that they were shocked. And Ajabdeh, her eyes were angry. Disappointed perhaps. Did he come across as needy? He didn't care. He had urged his parents into a conversation and matched the kundli. What followed was a meeting in the coffee shop where she asked a simple question, "What's wrong with you? Love doesn't happen this way. " He didn't have an answer. He only said, " Ever since I saw you, knew you, I decided it would be you I would like to spend my life with. Not anyone else in the world." She had stared at him doubtfully. Then she took it as a challenge. "We can try this, but it won't last. Love doesn't happen this way. It won't work. I am not someone who..." He'd smiled, "We will see. "

It's been three months since he had dedicatedly texted and called her. Send her flowers. Carefully avoided staring while she talked. And now a promotion was sending him off to Germany for two months just before the engagement.

He had avoided meeting her. Just in case she called it off. She was not ready to work on them. She didn't find love worth it.

He was at the airport, taking his baggage from the cab, when she said a soft "Hi." That made him turn surprised. " I ... Am here coz mom", he'd nodded. Of course. He'd walked silently with her towards the departure gate. And when he'd turned to face her, his heart skipped a beat. She asked, "So when will... You be back?" And her eyes sparkled with teardrops she'd held back. He smiled. "Soon." He had turned back once at the doorway and watched her smile.

A day later, a message made her smile. It said, "I was looking for answers. Your eyes gave me answers to everything I ever wanted to ask. Thank you."

~ Suranya

Aakhein

Kuch jawab dhoond rahe thee Kayi dino se mera mann. Par Sawal kya pooche tujhse Pata nahi tha. Aj teri akhon ne jaise, Zindagi ke saare jawab de diye.

- Suranya

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Love?

Cleaning the Attic, I found Grandma's old trunk. She smiled at it before carefully checking through the contents. There was a brown paper envelope, almost at the verge of tearing away, placed neatly among other things. And in it were a stack of yellow papers. Small rectangle ones with fountain pen ink stains on them. She smiled, moving her trembling hands over them. In affection and love. Letters from Grandpa while he was away at work.

She would wait for months to hear from him. Sometimes three, sometimes five.

Grandpa would travel miles from his workplace to the town to post the letters. The red post box was his way of letting her know that she was being remembered and missed. Some of the letters arrived on time. Some were lost in transit.

He then waited patiently for a reply that arrived a month later. Or maybe two. Depending on when Grandma could manage to lure his nephew to the post office by the promise of some sweetmeat or laddoos. In those days, the ladies barely stepped out, let alone post letters. In those days, letters even to husbands were written away from the eyes of the family, in the closed doors and silence of the room. Letters that arrived were carefully hidden between clothes in the cupboard lest someone found them. And if he had written to his parents instead and no letter arrived in her name, in the dark nights she would shed silent tears of disappointment. The next letter would melt her again, though.

Distances were greater. And connectivity is low. But there was a certain beauty in that wait. Undying love in that patience. There was no doubt. No anxiety. No insecurities. They didn't know each other by face or name, even a few days before Marriage, and a few days later, he left her with her new family and went to work. She didn't complain. Neither did she try to persuade him to take her along. She made herself accustomed to the ways of life after marriage instead.

And when he arrived back home for a day | or two, in between his hectic work, they would talk for hours. He would tell her about the world outside. And she, of the family. Young as they were, too eager to know and learn about the world, love didn't need to be worked on. It happened without expectations and limitations. I sighed as I saw her wipe away some happy tears. Death didn't separate lovers. It was just the same distance without the letters. A distance she now waits to be over.

I was startled by a Facebook notification as I sat going through the things in the trunk, as she sat in the balcony staring at the sky, clinging to the brown envelope like it was her life. It was a friend posting a picture of himself with his girlfriend. #couplegoals Now this made me laugh. I have seen couples. I have seen 'love'. 1 have seen them survive, struggle, end or rejuvenate. I have seen modern-day couple issues. Everything from what you wear, to where you go on dates, to vacations hidden from parents, to trust issues, affairs, to long distances and unsatisfying sex made it to the list of modern-day couple problems. Yet they call themselves 'couple goals'.

We are impatient with replies arriving seconds late. We are keeping tabs on partners on live locations and social media. We stalk people to check their credibility.

Once a person is exposed to you naked, stripped of all the fakeness, is it so difficult to accept a person with flaws? Accept their vulnerability? Love them like you promised to do when you were starting to know them? Is that what love has been reduced to? A mystery to be solved before heading ahead to another character and another story?

Baes of today become the worst enemies tomorrow. We unlove as easily as we fall in it. We judge people. By clothes, caste, education and whatnot. We rate people based on likes, followers and pictures. We use filters to make us look better. We use fakeness to impress people. We want everything quick. Money, fame, Love, sex, happiness. But none of us is ready to work on it. None of us has the patience. To work on relationships dedicatedly. To love, commit and trust. To honour people. Respect relationships. None of us is ready to give in or adjust. Egos and self-esteem merge in a thin line we barely see.

And then we talk of 'true' love. Love itself is the truest, purest and rarest of all feelings. It doesn't need any adjectives. It never needed any adjectives. Love was always true. What isn't true is not love. Lust, infatuation, attraction and crushes today get merged with the hard love. Habits of having someone, fear of being alone, make us date people and call the feeling love. It is used easily to woo anyone. Love doesn't happen like that.

And true Love needs no saying.

It needs no validation by the world.

Doesn't matter if you are together, apart, in a relationship or out of it.

Toast to that love, my friend.

The silence and patience make it work. Wait for it before letting your soul choose the wrong ones. Let love enlighten you. Make you a better person. Be patient. You will have your happy ending.

Because Love stays. It is Forever and Eternal. Unlike relationships nowadays.

~ Suranya

Friday, February 9, 2018

Story

 One night, in the solitude of my soul,

I had found a pen and paper

My heart was heavy and sorrow aplenty.

Lessons and memories, people and places

Disappointments and regrets.

At dawn, they all wept through the ink as stories.

Like a phoenix, a Writer was born,

From the ashes of suppressed emotions.

~ Suranya



Friday, February 2, 2018

Where Stones Speak

 I stand the test of time, in the glory of the past,

I stand to witness blood, love and lust.

I witness power struggles, mighty and mightier.

Worn from age, torn between ego, I look scarred.

I once stood lofty, as tall as none around me.

The queens gossipped on my roof, and kings appeared on the windows.

The children giggled, playing hide and seek in my corridor.

I now lay abandoned in silence, waiting to tell stories.

I was once a happy home now a monument to preserve,

In memories of dust.

~ Suranya