After Thoughts

 A rush of warmth;


It feels like my head is going to explode.


There's anxiety and a headache,


There's life and meaning,


There's everything and nothing. 


And no matter what I read,


What I know,


How much I distance myself,


How aloof I feel,


I am pulled back into a whirlpool


Of emotions I suppress


Feelings I dread;


As I find myself slipping away


In nightmares and afterthoughts


Of choices I never got to make.


~ Suranya