Sometimes there are days you feel like not getting out of bed, not being productive and staring at the empty Google Doc document with the cursor blinking for hours. Even if the words come, they are forced and not flowing, and backspaces do most of the job. Shutting off the laptop, going for a motivational walk, having a coffee to wake your brain up or even watching something doesn't help. But why are unproductive days not normalised? We are humans, not machines. There are days I sleep four hours and write so much that I forget my lunch time, and there are days I feel like doing nothing. Then why do I feel guilty about the unproductive days? Like I "wasted" a day rather than taking time off. Especially if I am writing a story nowadays, I usually write one chapter and go through the previous few per day. That way, the draft and correction go hand in hand, and I know if the chapters are syncing. But on days I can't write or I feel the plot or sentences are off-putting because I am not at my creative best, instead of taking the day off and doing what I feel like doing, I sit and sulk in front of the laptop because I failed the expectations of having a productive day. I wonder if it's an alien feeling or something everyone relates to. I wonder if it is because of the rat race, engagement, algorithm and everything else that has now become important than the art itself that we as artists feel guilty of not being able to produce something constantly. Some people do prefer quantity over quality, but I am not one of those. Sometimes it costs me my reach or readers. But somehow, even after reading so much, I can't seem to normalise unproductive days as part of who I am. Thought?
© Suranya
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